There Goes The Neighborhood

Back on the scene, crispy and clean. That's from Blacksheep. The rap group. A long time ago. We have internet access again. At home, which means I won't get busted by the man again at work. Lots of crap has happened but I'm too lazy to write it now. Besides, I have to get back to the sweet embrace of the crypt; But I'll be back!

London Calling

We are about a week and a half into Sarah's trip to Liverpool. She is studying abroad and in the meantime I'm falling apart. I guess I could give a brief rundown of the events leading to Now Leaving Wichita, The Movie. We are moving to Emporia in August so Sarah can attend a Master's program. Since our lease was up in May, we have relocated to her mother's house. I kinda feel like the creepy 30 year old loser living in my mother's basement, but in my defense her mother offered and we just couldn't justify keeping our apartment for a $150 rent increase to go month by month for two months. But also in the quest to save money, we have also had to go without Internet. I'm typing this from my parents house and the dial up is a lit slower than I'm used to. So there is the reason for no updates. I'll try and keep up but it's still going to be slim pickings if you really have to know what's happening in my so called life. I've barricaded myself in our room until Sarah returns. I figure I have enough games to last me the duration. I recently beat God Of War which was awesome. It was like playing 300. The production was great. Well either way, there are still others to defeat and plenty of time to complete them until "turn that shit off!" is reintroduced. But in all fairness, I can't wait till she returns and look forward to it everyday, Yeah. (that's for you, Sarah)

Take That Dean Bitterman

So after years of exploding bra bombs and clipping the dean with her vehicle, Sarah graduated from Wichita State yesterday. It was a joyous occasion with very little streaking for a change. Now it's off to graduate school where she will ponder the greatest mysteries purposed to man. And while she does that, I will also seek higher education... At Krusty's Clown College. It's been my life long dream and I've always been a natural when it comes to pie throwing. But as stated before it was a joyous occasion and I'll have to post some pictures of it. But for now, here's a picture one of her friends took during the ceremony. Smile!

Oh, wait, that's not it. Here you go, my bad.

You're Going Up The River, Sawdust For Brains

So Paris Hilton is surprised she's going to jail. After getting stopped three times while driving on a suspended license. Three times. Let my black ass get stopped once for supposedly having a tail light out and I have to sit in my car for the better part of an hour as officers call for back up and run my license and plates. Never mind the fact that the light wasn't out. Her mom even had the nerve to complain that the system doesn't work. No shit. That's why it took three times for her to be in any real trouble. These rich assholes don't understand how many breaks they are given and still want to gripe about the lot that's cast. The bitch knew her license was suspended. She even signed a slip showing she acknowledged the suspension. But hell, what are you gonna do. Wynonna Ryder never even saw a jail cell after stealing $6,000.00 worth of merchandise. With her rich ass. Let me get caught with a candy bar I didn't pay for and I'll be sitting in a federal prison without access to a lawyer for supporting terrorism. I just better remember to plead the fif.

Update- That bitch was caught driving again, after she has already been sentenced to jail time for doing just that. I don't think the judge was off the mark when she said Paris had no regard for the law.

Every Video Game Should Have A Photo Mode

Like these pictures I took on Metal Gear Solid 2. That's my boy 'Ol Gimpy.

Tell 'em how it is Gimpy! Say it right!

I love it. I just wish every game had a mode like this. That's part of the reason I love GT4 so much. That and the... rest of game, I guess.

I'd Like To Thank My Studio Audience

I want to thank everybody who came to my B-day party. It was a lot of fun and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe that was the booze. But either way, it makes me happy to know that there are still people who can make the effort to at least pretend to like me. I'd also like to thank my friends at work who loaded me up with so much sugar I didn't sleep all weekend.

In Memory Of My Yellow Dog

I had a dream about my dog, Amei-Chan. We were playing in the front yard with my mom and everything was good. She rolled around and did that thing where she scratched her snout with her front paws. Then I remembered she was dead. I woke up after that. It made me really sad. But I was happy to have that dream about her. Almost like it was as close to her as I could get. I've never wanted to rub her stinky belly so much.

Oh well. It was a much better dream than the one I had the night before. For some reason I had to avenge my father's death by killing Boss Hogg from the Dukes Of Hazard. I couldn't get to him though. Bastard. You can run now, since I'm not asleep! And you just keep on running, you son of a bitch! I'll catch up to you some night!

Anatomy of a Hiatus

For the complete story about the kittens, go to myspace. Friends only... bitches.

Quote Of The Day

Christina: "They're playing Nigeria?"
Sarah: "That's Niagara."

On the Kansas Vs Niagara tournament game.

The suspect is hatless, repeat hatless.

We went to see Reno 911 Friday night and that shit was hilarious. Just wrong, in every way you can imagine. Everyone should see it now. I mean now. Get up, put on your shoes and git gone foo! Anyways, my parents asked me if I wanted to see 300 today but I had to decline. I would have been skinned alive for seeing two movies without Sarah. For which I must make a public apology. I never take her to the movies when she wants to go and as a result, about five of the films she wanted to see are now on DVD. My bad. But in my defense, she usually springs it on me right when i get home from work when I'm ready to crash. I'm not an entire asshole and I did take her to see Pan's Labyrinth, which was amazing but not what I was expecting at all. The preview made it look like a Jim Henson type film and while we are watching it people are getting shot left and right, buck buck. I had no idea it was a WWII era film. So in closing take yo self to Reno and Sandy and Tonya totally stood us up, booya!

Got Damn!

And I think that says it all...

The Incredible Bulk (of 2 hour long not smashing)

So i finally got around to seeing The Incredible Hulk, 3 years after it's release, and the only thing I can say is it put me to sleep. Literally. Why in all those two hours where there about 15 minutes of smashing? More proof that Hollywood doesn't know anything about the films it produces. I keep telling people they should let me make movies. My Hulk film would have been two hours of the Hulk smashing shit with about three and a half minutes of dialogue. Granted I about stood up on the couch when he was fighting the tanks, yelling "smash, smash" but as great as that short lived scene was, it wasn't enough. All we needed to see was him get pissed off and fight a legion of the Leader's robot army. Who gives a shit about his dad and his love life. More of Hollywood deciding for us what we want to see. I didn't want to see Mary Jane live at the end of Spiderman; I wanted to see Gwen Stacy die (as terrible as that sounds). I didn't want to see random made for movie characters jumping off walls and kicking zombie dogs such as in what was supposed to be Resident Evil. And I definitely did not want to see an Xmen movie with a weepy prepubescent Rouge who did not have super-strength or could fly. Who writes this shit and what grade school did they flunk out of. The Hulk, much like these and many other movies, are the train wrecks that happen when they take a fanboy driven idea and put their own little spin on it, thus completely negating what it was that made it cool in the first place.

Suck It Boston

In Ignigtnot's voice: "Your fear is warranted, for we have our Quad-laser aimed and are ready to bring destruction to all your craps...er crops."

For Tomorrow

My older sister, Emily, returned today to her home in Chicago. Since it was the first chance she has had to visit since before Christmas when she arrived she came with gifts in tow. She works in the largest Borders bookstore in the states and due to this feature, she is able to come into, if only minor, contact with celebrities who enter this store. This would be the second year I have received a comic book as a Christmas present. The special thing about these comics are that last year Jim Lee came into the store with Jeph Loeb. I have a copy of the Batman story "Hush" parts one and two, signed by Jim Lee with a doodle of Batman in one and of the Joker in the other. How awesome is that. Well, like I said, she returned this year with gifts in tow. And in this installment was a hardbound copy of "For Tomorrow" volume one signed once again by Jim Lee. Fucking sweet. He had signed these while in the store so they weren't made out to me or anything but I'm sure you'll agree that it's still fucking sweet. It also included a doodle of the Man of Steel himself. As Homer would say "Jealous? You're jealous. " Fucking sweet.

If You Don't Care If I'm Seventy And You Think I'm Sexy

As I sit at gunpoint at work (because I've threatened to run) listening to Rod Stewart, I have to ask- Can anyone think of a song he has written in the last twenty years. I swear, every song I've heard by him has been a cover. Has the man ever sung an original song in his life. Nate assures me he did when he was a member of some band. But these days? He just relies on women in their forties and fifties who remember him before he looked like a shined piece of leather and thought he was "sexy" to buy his albums. "Whoo-Hoo, he still has it!"

Celebrities Shouldn't Be Celebrites

I know I just posted about the suckness of The Simpsons, but I felt I need to at least say this: I liked the guest stars as characters, not as themselves. Except for Ron Howard, because he is always in a bathrobe. But it just seems as the seasons progressed and their popularity increased, so did more celebrities playing themselves. I already hate most of them in real life. I don't want to see them in cartoon world playing themselves. There are episodes where it works, but for the most part it just shows the egotism involved in being a "celebrity." They can't show up unless they get to play themselves. Usually when this happens, there is a crappy script written around how to get the celebrity on the show. Everyone suffers in this case.

It's A New Year, Blah, Blah Blah.

Since I completely missed posting about the changing of the guard, I figured I'd go ahead and do it now. This year threatens to be the scariest ever. I'll be twenty-nine this birthday(gasp!). Only another year before the big three-0. Also there is the possibility Sarah and I will be moving. If she gets into a grad school outside Wichita then its Now Leaving Wichita for real. I've never lived anywhere else and that makes me a little apprehensive about it. There's all the starting over bullshit we'll both have to go through. other than that, I figure '07 won't be as big a deal as '06. I have a whole list of life goals and resolutions I plan to not achieve just like last year. School is looking more and more tolerable and may even become an actual possibility. The only reason I really have for not going back is just because I don't want to. Everyday at works does something to reverse that though. Who knows? At the risk of sounding cliche; It's a new year.

'Ol Grey Mule, She Ain't What She Used to Be

Why was the Burger King commercial for the Texas Double Whopper funnier than the Simpson's episode? And the commercial wasn't really that funny. It's at the point where I like watching American Dad more than them. And that's saying a lot. Boo-urns.

Japan has never met a black person in it's life

Here are a few "black" characters that appear in video games. Note the similarities:

How come all of them have afros and shades. Except for the Japanese "Wantabe." I guess there is always the alternative: Balrog, who is obviously not another stereotype.

A black boxer...Original

The Shogun is back. Shonuff.

I've finally clawed my way out of the stacks of Mexico insurance policies my coworkers and I have been under since mid November. Of course not much has happened. I've started the heavy medication (booze) that is needed to deal with the bombardment of crap-tastic Christmas music and cheery shoppers and drivers that are typical of this season. I have to note the weather situation too. Notice that Wichita is blessedly free of any snow and ice, despite the class three killstorm surrounding us. Luckily, all it's done is rain which, as always, comes about three days after I washed my car. Ahh the joys of the season. I've got all my shopping for my immediate family except one. Can you guess which one? I've also "obtained" a copy of Ong-Bak, which is fucking badass. I do wonder though, why when a movie such as this comes out, they have to include shit like "stunts that could make Jackie Chan pale?" I mean really. Whoever wrote that shit obviously has never seen Jackie's Hong Kong flicks. Yeah, his made for the international market movies are kind of tame. But to say something like that about one of the Lucky Stars is retarded. but of course they just mean to hype up the film. I just don't know why they need to diss J-Rock. He's cold as ice.

I'm so glad we had this little chat

Communication is vital in the business world, right. Managers, supervisors, bosses should always know more than the grunts, right. Why then did our boss, the site big cheese, descend his Mount Olympus too wring our feeble little necks. I know why, the rest of the team knows why. But did he? Yesterday was a very busy day. Any clues as to why? Most businesses are closed the Friday after Thanksgiving (of course we aren't, that's the kind of business we are) which leads most customers to not call. Hence us not being busy. The Monday after though, is a different situation. But not only did we get bombed but also one of our main programs we use to process request, decided to crash. Shot all to hell. All day. Plus, in an effort to reach the coveted service level we are expected to maintain, they take several people from our team to take regular phone calls. So we have our workforce basically halved and the agents on the floor had no choice but to keep the request till today when the program is back up. I'm sure you can guess where this is going. So about five, five-thirty he decides to come down to our cubicles and ask rather loudly as to why there are over five hundred request in the system. Now remember, he is the site manager. He should have a handle on all that is happening, right? Well, he still asked? Not only that but he also took the stats that someone had just printed. I can't wait till tomorrow when he sees my name, as well as others, not on it. I have my own project to work on plus there is a whole other database he probably won't look at. I just think it's weird that instead of going to one of the Operations Managers, he come straight to us to bitch us out. But then again, I've been here too long to really be that surprised.

There Used To Be A Box There

When Sarah and I moved, I brought home an envelope box that our cat, Niccalo, quickly laid claim to. You know how cats are, boxes and paper bags and what not. Well, this box followed us from the month before we moved all the way to the new apartment, where it now resides. With him inside. But recently we had a cold snap, and to make sure he remained warm inside his box, Sarah placed a towel inside it. This however, placed more stress on the fragile walls of the box. I don't really need to explain what happened next, but I wil for comedic purposes. The front wall gave way first. Which was fine because he could still sit inside it with his front paws outstretched in front of him. We then moved the box away from the patio door to once again make sure he remained warm. After the move, though, the end came swiftly. Here you see him in his box before the Great Wall collapsed:

Notice how snug of a fit it is. And here he is Saturday:
See how he doesn't even try to fit into it anymore. He's just given up. That cracks me up.

Updates

I finished another picture today. It's a lot more minimalistic that I usually do, but I like it all the same. I haven't posted in a while, due mostly to the "management" at work cracking down. But I'll try to keep everything up to date but it's kind of hard once I get home. This is the last thing I'm thinking about. No wait, that would be work. Well, either way, I added the picture to Flicr and added to link here on my Myspace page. I also sent out a bulletin letting my friends know there was a new picture up. I wonder how many will actually take the time to look. I find it funny though that all the comments posted were from this computer, but not by me. But it still looks that way though, despite those posting the comments leaving their names. I just want everyone to know that it wasn't me posting them and that other people actually looked and posted about my pictures. And no, these other people do not reside in my head... In case you were wondering.

More proof of my crappy-ness

I opened a Flicr account to show off my lame-o artwork. There's a link to it on my sidebar. See it? It's right over there. No, not there damnit! Look, if you aren't even going to try. Ok... Good. Feel free to check it out and don't foget to tell me to not quit my day job. God, I hate myself sometimes. But then I use the spell checker and it tells me I misspelled "forget". See above if you missed it. Among others, it also offered a correction to "fagged". Keep in mind "forget" was not one of my options. God, I hate Blogger's spell checker even more. All the time. So I left "foget" on purpose. Because I'm a passive aggressive asshole. Bah!

It's not right

I stopped the episode of Extras I just started watching just to write this post. Stephen Merchant is so fucking tall. It's not right. It's the episode with Orlando Bloom. He walks on the the set of Andy's show and gotdamn, he is so fucking tall. So there, Nate. You can't say I'm not watching it.

Theresa left her glasses again.

They were in the couch. I found them. Not the bad way. I took an artsy-fartsy picture of them after I watched disc one of Nate's Office Season Two DVD's he let me borrow. He has my Aqua Teen Hunger Force Season Two. Now I'll probably scan some old drawings of mine. Working for the weekend, and so well spent they are.

Walker, Texas Ranger(maybe)

Ok, no shit, I just finished a request for man named "Charles Norris". Think about it. Then think about "Law and Order". In your face. Roundhouse kicks for everyone!

I'm every woman

If you have a job, assuming you do otherwise why are you on the internet, then you probably have to listen to crappy satellite music. This means the same songs over and over again. Well, after what has to be many, many consumer complaints about our hold music, the higher-ups have finally changed the channel from the late seventies, early eighties station. Since then we have heard a mix of contemporary music including a song by Whitney Huston. I then mockingly sang a few high-pitched notes from the song from The Bodyguard. This doomed me to later humiliation. Friday I was not feeling well and while away on my first break of the day I returned to this:
It's from a picture of one of my cousins and I punching each other at the same time. I have an idea who was behind this dastardly deed but I won't post names (JMO). I guess this makes up for this picture I left on Nate's desk.

I'm sick and it sucks.

My brains are draining out of my nose. This blows.

Long Hard Road

It is done. After almost a year. I'm not sure how to feel about it. The fact that it took so long or that it's finally done. Either way, here it is:
I still have this other one that I began on the fif and don't know how to finish. I haven't been this productive in a long while and it feels good.

Question

If Michael Jackson is so sensitive to the sunlight, why isn't he wearing gloves?

Another day at work

Yup... The sad thing is I have tomorrow off and this will probably be me on my couch at home.
But I do have another picture I'm almost done with. Plus this one is a days work away from being done, which is exciting and scary all at the same time.

I desperately need one of these

It's 1:30am. I should be in bed now. Actually 30 minutes ago. I spent tonight updating my Ipod instead of drawing, or even playing games. What a waste of time...
and now Blogger is being a bitch and not posting this. What a fucking waste of time... Now I get to receive a beating. Coming Sarah! (thanks a lot Apple and Blogger, now I'm gonna get punched in the face.)

She called me greenhorn, I called her Tony Randall

So I accepted the Sir Loin-alot challenge last night with a burger from Braums that was bigger than my stomach. I wasn't even half way through Roger before I started hallucinating. I remember seeing Sarah's burger and thinking it was big. Then she reached into the bag and pulled mine out. At least she was smart and ate slow and only ate half her burger which was about the size of a Whopper. But I couldn't do that. Despite eating half a lamb earlier, I decided to take her to school. Then Sarah and I watched the season premier to Grey's Anatomy, which was chock full of flashbacks and Bailey not exhibiting the same tough, Nazi-ish behavior as we have become accustomed to. Sarah's worried it will become a crap show soon. After last night's episode, though, I can't see it lasting much longer. Ideally, I would like it to end this season before they ruin it. But I guess it's never too late, or early, to ruin a show. And this could be the season it happens. Well, whatever. I have to figure out what I'm going to do tonight since Sarah is in Kansas City presenting her research project. It's about pilots who do barrel rolls and loop de loops while listening to Danger Zone and who ride motorcycles really fast. I think it's called "Pilots On Bikes and Why They Rock". It's really good. It's actually about the cognitive decline in older pilots and is very interesting. But it still fails to advise me on how to spend my loads of free time while she is gone. Playing games isn't the same without her walking into the room and saying "turn that shit off!" I guess I'll just binge on The Simpsons till she gets back on Sunday.

Duck and Cover!

We had some severe weather today, resulting in a tornado warning for our county. During the warning we were told to leave our desk and move to the hallway outside our suite to cower before natures mighty wrath. Which never came. That sounded a little disappointed. I wasn't. I was just sad that we had to return to our desk so soon. The whole ordeal only lasted about 30 minutes. But even after the ok to go back it still looks kind of ugly outside. I guess we'll be in the tornado watch until 11 tonight. Exciting, huh? Well, while in the hall I had to stand next to the smelly lady. I didn't even realize it till it was too late. Damn, that's mean. But sorry. I've had my moments, like everyone else, but you know those people that stink so bad that you smell them after they've left. That's her. I can feel myself sinking closer and closer to hell the more I write mean things about her. Every keystroke is another nail in the coffin. Well, at least she can say she has all her hair. Booya, Henry! Take that. Oh Snap! Shazam! That's in your face! Like a man with no arms, you can't hang! And so forth. Damn I am bored. I had about three lien releases open that took me an hour to do. I just kept looking at them, choking back the tears of boredom, then swearing rabidly at the dealer on the phone while I have him on mute. Nate called though and said he was coming back on Tuesday. Thank God. Now his incessant chatter will drown out "Those Two" again. That's right, that's the only reason I want you to come back! Now what? What are you gonna do? Drown me with your tears? Oh Snap! Take that Nate! Ok I need to go home.

To answer your first question; Yes, we do have pasta

Also, you will need to sign up for Myspace in order to view my pictures in all their badly scanned, low resolution glory. Then you have to send a friend request, which I must approve. The time it takes for me even to post here is exhausting, so that is going to be a hassle, both for me and anyone who might want to view my pictures. But it is the course I have chosen to take. Hopefully it will benefit me in the future. I will still post my blogging here though. As if anyone actually reads this. Or should. Now, on to the second question; What episode of the Simpson's is the title from. Don't ask Johnny "Tight Lips", though. He'll tell you to suck a lemon. As of right now, I only have a few drawings up, but I will probably try to add a few other pictures I've created, either with the computer, more drawings, photography or all the above. Sandy's already put her two cents in. In the future, I might try to make prints and advertise using Myspace as a platform. But that is still a ways off. I'll probably add a link to my page this weekend. Then I might try and finish the drawing that is the bane of my existence.

Hello... Is anyone out there?

I've just spent a few minutes checking out all the usual blogs I read almost daily and not a one has updated. And I thought I had a boring weekend. Actually it wasn't that bad. I went to Durand's, played Grand Turismo and pined for all the cars we can't have. Then I came home late and pissed Sarah off. That was fun. Then I went for a drive Sunday morning to take Sarah a "package" which will remain unspecified due to it's femininity. I played Resident Evil for a few hours and posted some drawings on Myspace. You have to be my friend to look at them though. Sandy said she liked them, which made me happy. Then I went to my parents house and ate dinner and laughed at part of Wallace and Gromit and The Curse of the Wererabbit.
Then we watched part of that 9/11 mini-series and was bored and pissed off at the same time. Then I updated my Ipod that I got for $90 bucks thanks to a deal Nate got when he bought his new computer. There, my life in 30 seconds. That's so sad that I can sum up my weekend in 30 seconds. Bah. I'm going to drink tonight.

It's soooo sloooow

How come after a long weekend, or any weekend for that matter, when you finaly drag your sorry ass back into work, the day drags on sooooo long. I mean really. As fast as this three day weekend went, today should be over. Why do the laws of time and space not apply when you are at work. I would attempt to throw myself down some stairs to pass the time, but since these laws don't apply here, I wouldn't get hurt and would have to sheepishly return to my desk to finish the day. Maybe longer to make up the time I missed laying at the bottom of the stairwell. The window would't be any good either since I'm on the first floor and would just fall on the pavement outside. And then I would have to pay for the window. That means more time at work. Oh well. It's almost time to leave. At least it was an hour ago.

I should be a weather man

Except I should just come on after the weather segments so that I can say "no it won't" to everything the meteorologist just said. But what really annoys me is not their inability to accurately forecast the weather but rather the actual weather. It never thunderstorms during the day anymore. It's always at 2am. We never have a good storm in the middle of the day. Half the time I don't even know it rained at all until I leave for work the next day and the streets are still wet. That sucks. Whatever happened to the those days. I remember my junior year in high school where it rained for a month straight, day and night and I loved it. Why won't it do that again. It needs to; I command it. Damnit.

I really just want the power to go off at work so I can leave early. There, I said it.

Dinner is served

Leon has been avenged. I beat Resident Evil 4 the other night. I have to say that it is the hardest easy game to beat. I felt challenged but most of the times where I died were due to me "trying things". You know that old joke "what are a rednecks last words? Hey y'all, watch this!" That kind of stuff. "I wonder if I can hit him there. I wonder if this grenade will make his teeth click", or trying to knife fight something that you really shouldn't get close enough to stab. But either way, it is done. But enough of the games.

I finished another picture Tuesday. It wasn't the large one that I should have finished a long time ago though. It did however take me two months to finally get it done. I'll try and finish the big one very soon. It's soooo close. I just need to buckle down and do it. Of course, once that's done I have another I've been slowly penciling so that when I am ready to work on it, it won't take nearly as long. I'll probably post the finished product later. I'm a little wary of that though since there has been talk of people taking images from other blogs and professing that they are indeed the artist. I spoke with a co-worker and he said I should set up a Myspace account to show my work. That way I could advertise it. I don't know about that but at least I could keep track of who had access to my work. I don't know, I'll figure all that out later.

GODDAMN! pt2

Revenge is a dish best served with a boomstick and a smile. As I vowed, I am currently avenging Leon on Resident Evil 4. So far I've died about twenty times doing so, but despite that high number, I've actually progressed pretty far in the game. That and many of the times have been through trial and error. Just to be safe, when you fight the two giants in the mine, make sure one has been thoroughly swallowed up by the lava before you get too close to it. Just to let you know. Ouch. That is one creepy game and I love it for that reason. Just the chill you get when you hear that chainsaw rev up. I'm still mad that my body ran a couple of steps after one of the Sisters clotheslined me with her chainsaw blade. Ouch again. But worry not Leon, I will avenge you. I will also obtain the weapon called the Chicago Typewriter. It's a Tommygun! And that has to the perfect name for it. Usually there are cool names for the weapons, like the Broken Butterfly magnum revolver or the Riot Gun shotgun. I just hope you can use it in the regular game and not just in Ada's mini-game. Either way, I'm sure I'll laugh a disturbing laugh as it tears through a crowd of Gonados. He he he, I can't wait. BOOM, HEADSHOT! BOOM, HEADSHOT!

So Close, But Still So Far

Earliest picture












Latest... As of tonight. Will the end ever come? I vow here and now to be done by the end of this month. Maybe.

Ok, listen to this bullshit. We were talking about bad movies and the Benifer movie came up. A comment was made about whether or not Jennifer Lopez has made a good movie and I mentioned The Cell. We began talking about the part with the horse which made me bring up Damien Hirst, who may or may not have been the inspiration for the scene. I began explaining to Brian about how an "artist" named Mark Bridger poured black ink into one of Damien's sculptures called "Away from the flock". This piece features a white sheep suspended in a tank of formaldehyde. He was not protesting the work and did this as an act of "conceptual art", which I would translate as vandalism. He actually thought that Damien would not be upset about his actions. A few years later Damien Hirst published an art book featuring "Away from the flock" which included a pull tab. When pulled it would fill the tank with "black ink", obscuring the animal suspended in the fluid. Here's the kicker, wait for it... After it was published, Bridger sued him for copyright infringement. Ain't that some shit? The fact that he had the balls. If I was the judge in that case I would have just thrown it out. Then ordered Mr Bridger socked in the nuts. Now that's justice!

Surly only looks out for one guy

Sometimes I hate too much. It kind of makes my stomach hurt. All the hating I do. It's like working two jobs, being angry and all. And then it pisses me off at working two jobs and not getting paid for one of them. And then I get paid and find out I'm still broke and it makes me even more angry. And then people tell me I need anger management and that makes me even more angry. So I tell them to shove it and it makes them angry, which in turn makes me angry because they can't take joke. It's a vicious cycle. Break the cycle man, break the cycle.

If you build it, they will come...Maybe

A friend was complaining that no one goes to his blog. I didn't know he even had one till last night. If you don't tell anyone, then no one will ever know. But now I know, and knowing is half the battle. I've linked to it, so now the hypothetical readers of my blog may become hypothetical readers of his too. Like one big hypothetical family. Hypothetically.

Welcome to loserville. Population, me

I failed in my attempt to prove Sarah wrong. I have not finished my picture yet. Despite working till 1am last night, it remains incomplete. I need new pens though. I could cover a lot more ground if I wasn't trying to cover large areas with a .005 pen. But it's ok. The only thing she wins are bragging rights and I'll finish it soon enough, hopefully by the weekend. I will, however, still need to mat and frame it. A feat that will be a lot more easily realized once I have a good mat cutter. The handheld cutter sucks, but it's better than nothing. I do have one picked out that I want though. The price tag of about $140 is not too bad considering some of the others go for around $400. I want it. I love framing in general. If Michael's paid the same and gave me the same number of hours I never would have left the frame shop. Oh well.

The end of days...again

For some reason, probably all the conflict happening in the world, people are beginning to wonder if these are a sign of the end of days. Really people...Things have always been this bad and people have always done the horrific things that we all read about in the papers. The only difference are the means. Nowadays terrorist use bombs, but there have been guns for hundreds of years and swords and knives since the beginning of time. People have always died on the edge of them by the thousands and still the Savior has not returned. I'm not saying He's not coming or anything but I think everyone is a lot more jumpy than they need to be. Besides, when they say it could happen in our lifetimes, based on what's in the bible, it won't be in most of our lifetimes because most of us are supposed to be killed off in all the carnage that leads up to His coming. What's the point of this post? I don't even know. It just irritates me with all the religious types pinning for the Second Coming believing that they are the chosen few who will ascend to Heaven. Most of the shit you people do outside of the church pretty much guarantees you a spot on the rollercoaster to Hell. Much deserved. But that's judging! I guess I'll see you all in Hell too. Elevator to Hell, going down!

Some call it art. Others call it fart.

Since Gran Turismo 4 came out, Durand and I have had a friendly competition with the photo sessions. Some of the picture are downright sweet ass, which I makes me wonder about the artistic quality of them. Granted they are not actual photos that were developed in a dark room, hell they aren't even of real cars. But can you really deny visual stimuli that they are? Does it depend on how it is presented? Who created it? Or is it just something that everyone can just agree on as beautiful?
Sure, given the ease at which the game makes of getting really cool action shots anyone could produce pictures like these but does it take something a little more than a copy of the game and some free time to make make something as close to what the designers had imagined? If I had taken this picture with an actual camera and an actual car and produced the exact same image, would either be more valid than the other? Well either way, I like doing it and I hope Durand has some more when I go over tomorrow. This is still my favorite one though:
Woo Hoo! Look At That Evo Fly! That's right Iceman... I am dangerous.

That's right. This is my life. A world of pictures and none of them worth a damn. But I like them. Such a life... Where everything and nothing is art. I like this one I took of Emily while in Memphis. It kind of reminds me of Edward Hopper. But that's just me.

Oh well, time to play some games. At least there's validation in beating the next level.

Baddest is now a word

I beat Medal of Honor: Frontline the other night. Without using any codes. I'm the baddest person I know. I don't know anyone else who has beat it without some kind of cheat code. Which makes me the baddest person I know. Maybe even the baddest you know. Never mind the thousands of twelve year olds weaned on Halo and the like who can pass through games like this in their sleep. Either way, I'm the baddest, even though spellchecker is telling me that "baddest" isn't even a word. It is now, and I am He. Booya, Herr Nazi Stinkbutt! What's that? "Vas?" you say? Here, let me say it again. Booya! When's the last time you heard that? That's because only the baddest are allowed to say it. Booya again! IN YOUR FACE!

Another day at the office

This is my day. Maybe that's why my head hurts.

The countdown has begun

I have five days to finish one of my pictures. Sarah said I couldn't finish it before August so that's what I'm going to do. Maybe. I've been working on it since about October, so it might be a good for me to actually finish it. I'm sure there is more to it than just finishing it, though. Something psychological. Like, once I get it finished, what will I have left to work on? Nevermind the other unfinished pictures I have to work on. But this one has taken a large amount of work and effort and to finally be done with it, I don't know if I'm ready for that. Nevertheless, it will be done in five days. Maybe. Just because she said I couldn't do it. Of course it all depends on whether or not I'm feeling the juice. I tried to get a few things going Sunday and just couldn't. I ended up just playing games since I couldn't even get started. Better to not attempt than to go and screw up the whole picture. And with as long as I have been working on it, I probably would have blown my brains out. Of course it look like I did that before I started drawing:

There are actual figures in there. They are just a little hard to see since they only exist in pencil form right now.

Blogger has the worst spell checker ever. Ever

I used widescreen in my last post and while checking for errors it offered ideogram as a replacement. For widescreen. Where does that even come from? How? Why? And as I'm checking this post; the same thing. Whatever... Cuckoo.

Double fireballs are awesome

About 12 years ago in 1994, two Street Fighter II movies were unleashed upon the world. Only one mattered and it wasn't the one with Van Damme. It was Street Fighter II : The Animated Movie. Unlike the live action movie or the Alpha movie that followed, this one had real fights and a coherent storyline. That and the Chun Li and Vega fight. Now, after it was released on the Street Fighter 15th Anniversary Collection in it's edited form (though it was advertised as uncut), it has arrived, finally uncut and double-sided with the original Japanese voice actors. The only problem with the Japanese movie is that none of the music that was added in the stateside version is included. That's right, no KMFDM during the Chun Li fight. The effect is an incredibly intense fight scene with incredibly lackluster music. I was actually bored. That's right, bored. But even after seeing this movie a million times, I still find myself sucked into it. Even with the disappointment of the music in that fight scene, the rest of the movie does not fail to deliver. The point I think I love the most though, is the fact that it doesn't make Ken look like a chump or a Ryu clone. At the height of the action in the Alpha movie, why does Ken's Dragon Punch fail to KO the villain goon? We all know that Ken is as powerful as Ryu, and depending on who you talk to, he's stronger (remember Ken's ending in Alpha 2). He wouldn't make a very good sparring partner if he wasn't. But I digress. The Street fighter movie is probably the best pick as far as Street Fighter movies that do not include Sonny Chiba. I don't think I really need to mention the fully restored shower scene, which was... Um interesting before the frontal nudity was placed back in the movie. You know what part I'm talking about. Either way, when watching the part of the movie that takes place in India, keep an eye out for Gouki (Akuma), as he does make an appearance in the movie. Without the widescreen version the movie is now presented in, we never knew.

I'm Out Bitches

I've got a five day weekend! I'm going to Memphis. I'll see you on Monday... Bitches.

GODDAMN!

I want this game. I will avenge you Leon.

Everything or nothing... Usually nothing

Last night, Durand and I attempted to play through the co-op missions on 007 Everything or Nothing. There's nothing like being shot full of holes. I really enjoy this game, which I have to say is very refreshing after a bad spat of 007 games. Not naming names (cough, Agent Under Fire). This one is in third person, so you get to see Bond, or whoever you are playing as, get shot all to hell. We do pretty good up to a point, but always get cut short when we find some kind of rhythm. We will beat it though. Soon. Nevermind this game is probably a couple of years old and we have been trying for just about as long, off and on. But it will happen. Nightfire was a cool game too. It was probably the best follow up to the N64's GoldenEye. That's no easy feat either. But as far as Agent Under Fire and GoldenEye Rouge Agent are concerned; "No , Mr Bond, I expect you to die."

Don't stop thinking about tomorrow

This is the song playing now. Everytime I hear it I think of Bart Simpson driving the tank, singing this song, hopped up on "Focusin". Poor Sir WideBottom. Alive but without a purpose. Kind of like me. I recounted my college years with a co-worker during lunch I have to admit that if I had sucked it up and finished what I began, I would probably be a lot happier these days. Of course there's no guarantee of that and I' m not unhappy where I am. Quite the opposite. But still, everyone wonders about what things would be like with different decisions made. I made an observation that I might have been able to do something with the knowledge I've gained besides spot a portion of a picture in video games or movies and know the painter, title and even sometimes the year. The example I use today, one I've used too many times, is in the movie "About Schmidt", the part where Jack Nicholson's character is asleep in the bath is based on a painting by Jacques-Louis David (pronounced Da-veed). It's called "The Death Of Marat". It's a very romantic painting of an actual incident, in which Marat was murdered in the bath by his lover slash spy-er-on-him by the government (I think, it's been a while). The scene was obviously a bit more bloody than the painting but that goes into the artistic movement of the time. Why do I know this? Of what use is it? None. Bah.

I'm so bored I can't even post anything

Literally. I've written and erased so many times. I'm at work and the "Instant Replay" song is playing overhead. Wee-ooo, Wee-ooo, Wee-ooo. Yeah, that's in the song. It's also the sound you hear after I've tried to escape the song by jumping out of the window. I probably wouldn't even make it though, because in my moment (or moments?) of insanity, I would more than likely forget to take my headset off and as I ran for the window, I would get rubberbanded back into my cubicle by the cord. That would be pretty funny to see, if physics actually worked the way they do in my head, anyways. I just can't wait to get out of here and get back to my life of glorified violence and crime. I stared back up with Grand Theft Auto III after Durand brought Liberty City Stories over Thursday night. I beat it but when I loaded my game, I saw that I still had about 49% of the game left. Time to get my hands dirty again. And again.

Forget danger, you can't be safe anyways

Punching people in the face brings a smile to my face again. I received a copy of Street Fighter Alpha Anthology a few days back. And the cup of nostalgia overflowed. I'm still a little ticked that Capcom didn't include a version of Alpha with the 15th Anniversary Collection. But with this collection I can see why. I think including just one version of Alpha would have only provided a taste of what the Anthology does. Personally, Alpha 2 is the crowning achievement of the Alpha series, but that's just me. The gem of the collection though, ironically has to be the inclusion of Super Gem Fighter MiniMix. With all the hardcore Alpha Counters and Super Combos, it was great to shift gears and play something a little more light hearted. There is no way you can play this game without cracking a smile, despite spewing a raging torrent of curse words at being beaten by the computer yet again. Not that it happened to me or anything. It was all business when it came down to the serious fighters and all the little techniques I had perfected to score multiple hits on unsuspecting foes came flooding back. Warrior's Dreams is much like Street Fighter II, before they added the turbo, as far as the pacing of the fights. It's slow and deliberate. Timing and strategy is much more important than in later incarnations. Alpha 2 expands on this but adds a little speed and a couple of characters, not to mention the cool secret field stage with all the lightning. Alpha 2 Gold is to the Alpha series as Third Strike is to the Street Fighter III series. It takes everything that is good with Alpha 2 builds upon it to make it smoother and more comfortable to play with a few more characters. Alpha 3 however boast the biggest change in game play. The ability to recover mid-air after receiving a hit speeds up the action, and drastically increases the chances you will be KO'd by the computer recovering after you thinking you've pummeled him sufficiently. Yeah, that happened more than once against Adon. Bastard. The influence of the Marvel VS Capcom games can definitely be felt here. But nothing else in the game can be felt more than the computer-controlled M.Bison's Psycho Crusher. It err... crushes you. But it's pretty sweet when it happens. It's not like the one in Street Fighter II, where you can fireball or dragon punch him out of it. The only option is to block it and hope you have enough health to absorb the punishment it deals. And blocking in the air doesn't work. You'll just get splattered all over the place. Then Bison will do that goofy laugh of his while standing over your burnt out corpse. Muwahaha.

Another swing

I finished a drawing about a week ago and even though I don't feel like it's anything spectacular, I submitted it to the reader art section on Juxtapose. It's the second time I've sent something but the last time I didn't read the guidelines as far as the size of the image and just sent it. That doesn't mean that was the reason it wasn't shown; they may have just thought it was crap. Either way, I submitted the new picture "Salome", which was inspired by Aubrey Beardsley's cover. Really, the only similarities are our medium but that's immaterial. It's not really one of my best pieces, but I like it all the same. I hope someone else does too.

Cheeseburger in Paradise

Now Returning to Wichita:A short story by Sarah.
I've found my new calling; i'm gonna work and live at SeaWorld. Me and Shamu, we were meant to be together. This is me in five years, guys. Jumping in the air with Shamu (insert face). I fed a dolphin and a stingray, and I swam in the ocean for the first time and got salt water up my nose. I bonded with my dad who is an avid Jimmy Buffet fan(we drank too many margaritas). I met Captain Hook!

Albert Attacks, Sarah stays cool

Before she left for her week long family vacation in FLorida, Sarah knew that there was a tropical depression headed that way. Little did she know Albert would arrive. In my concern, I texted her to make sure everything was ok. True story: She replies with "No, the girls have taken all the beds and are trying to make me sleep on the couch." Well if they have time to worry about the sleeping arrangments then I guess I don't need to worry too much.

That's what happens when you leave a man alone

The actual event isn't as entertaining as the way Sarah explained it to her dad but that's OK. For comedic purposes I will use her story. Which begins with her coming home from work and finding me in the living room in front of the TV. I have a couple of knives and am bleeding from my right hand. There is a steady torrent of swear words leaving my mouth and I look like a mad man cursing at the television which is in the off setting. All her dad had to say is "That's what happens when you leave a man alone." The only thing that could have made the story any funnier (or scarier) is if I were only wearing a pair of tighty-whities. Fortunately that wasn't the case.

Now for the back story as to why I was assaulting the TV. First off, it's a TV-VCR combo. Bad news. I had inserted a tape to queue it up for when Sarah got home. As I was doing this it began to make a strange noise and finally after a moment it just shut off. Concerned, I tried to turn the TV back on, which it did, but for some reason the tape appeared to be stuck. After trying to eject the tape the TV once again shut off. It continued to do this after several tries. So I get the bright idea that I can just pry it out. I reach my hands inside and try to pull it out but something inside is holding it tight. In my now understood to be vain struggle to pull it out my hands rubbed against the top of the opening, slicing my skin open. Hence the bleeding. I didn't even feel it until my hand got sticky from the blood. So at this point I'm livid and decide to get a knife to jimmy it free. But this was also in vain as the tape still resides inside the VCR. Fortunately I was able to move it around to where the TV won't switch off but I won't be watching any tapes in it for a while, if ever. It is old though, round abouts of six to seven years and I would like to get a new one. The TV part still works fine though so I can't justify throwing it out just yet. But for the record, there were no tighty-whities involved.

Boom Town

GTA Liberty City Stories comes out tomorrow. You know what that means. Plenty of driving on the sidewalk backwards firing a machine gun and yelling fuck the police. Or maybe that's just the way I play. What's in your wallet?

By the way, X-Men blew. Short of Beast trouncing everyone, despite his permed and pressed hair, it was a disappointment. I don't want to spoil anything but I have to wonder why no one asked where Scott was after what seemed like several days. At least Juggernaught said his now- almost-as-famous-as-"I'm-Rick-James-Bitch"-catchphrase. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you need to go to youtube and look under "Juggernaught bitch". It is now part of pop culture, just like Chappelle's Rick James skit.

Can't wait to see how this train wreck ends

I mean, the story is already so screwed up. I like them and all, but really. Why couldn't they just start at the beginning and when they got to the end, stop. Why all the mixing and matching of characters. Why isn't Mystic and Rouge hot? Why is Magneto a frail and useless old man? Why is Wolverine so tall and without any intensity? The only good casting job they did was with Patrick Steward. He was the obvious choice. I did also think Alan Cummins was good as the Elf (Nightcrawler). Tonight, though, I will finally see the much awaited ending of these average series of movies of a better than average gang of mutants. At least Juggernaught says "I'm the Juggernaught!" Too bad he probably won't yell it every time he enters the room.