Question

If Michael Jackson is so sensitive to the sunlight, why isn't he wearing gloves?

Another day at work

Yup... The sad thing is I have tomorrow off and this will probably be me on my couch at home.
But I do have another picture I'm almost done with. Plus this one is a days work away from being done, which is exciting and scary all at the same time.

I desperately need one of these

It's 1:30am. I should be in bed now. Actually 30 minutes ago. I spent tonight updating my Ipod instead of drawing, or even playing games. What a waste of time...
and now Blogger is being a bitch and not posting this. What a fucking waste of time... Now I get to receive a beating. Coming Sarah! (thanks a lot Apple and Blogger, now I'm gonna get punched in the face.)

She called me greenhorn, I called her Tony Randall

So I accepted the Sir Loin-alot challenge last night with a burger from Braums that was bigger than my stomach. I wasn't even half way through Roger before I started hallucinating. I remember seeing Sarah's burger and thinking it was big. Then she reached into the bag and pulled mine out. At least she was smart and ate slow and only ate half her burger which was about the size of a Whopper. But I couldn't do that. Despite eating half a lamb earlier, I decided to take her to school. Then Sarah and I watched the season premier to Grey's Anatomy, which was chock full of flashbacks and Bailey not exhibiting the same tough, Nazi-ish behavior as we have become accustomed to. Sarah's worried it will become a crap show soon. After last night's episode, though, I can't see it lasting much longer. Ideally, I would like it to end this season before they ruin it. But I guess it's never too late, or early, to ruin a show. And this could be the season it happens. Well, whatever. I have to figure out what I'm going to do tonight since Sarah is in Kansas City presenting her research project. It's about pilots who do barrel rolls and loop de loops while listening to Danger Zone and who ride motorcycles really fast. I think it's called "Pilots On Bikes and Why They Rock". It's really good. It's actually about the cognitive decline in older pilots and is very interesting. But it still fails to advise me on how to spend my loads of free time while she is gone. Playing games isn't the same without her walking into the room and saying "turn that shit off!" I guess I'll just binge on The Simpsons till she gets back on Sunday.

Duck and Cover!

We had some severe weather today, resulting in a tornado warning for our county. During the warning we were told to leave our desk and move to the hallway outside our suite to cower before natures mighty wrath. Which never came. That sounded a little disappointed. I wasn't. I was just sad that we had to return to our desk so soon. The whole ordeal only lasted about 30 minutes. But even after the ok to go back it still looks kind of ugly outside. I guess we'll be in the tornado watch until 11 tonight. Exciting, huh? Well, while in the hall I had to stand next to the smelly lady. I didn't even realize it till it was too late. Damn, that's mean. But sorry. I've had my moments, like everyone else, but you know those people that stink so bad that you smell them after they've left. That's her. I can feel myself sinking closer and closer to hell the more I write mean things about her. Every keystroke is another nail in the coffin. Well, at least she can say she has all her hair. Booya, Henry! Take that. Oh Snap! Shazam! That's in your face! Like a man with no arms, you can't hang! And so forth. Damn I am bored. I had about three lien releases open that took me an hour to do. I just kept looking at them, choking back the tears of boredom, then swearing rabidly at the dealer on the phone while I have him on mute. Nate called though and said he was coming back on Tuesday. Thank God. Now his incessant chatter will drown out "Those Two" again. That's right, that's the only reason I want you to come back! Now what? What are you gonna do? Drown me with your tears? Oh Snap! Take that Nate! Ok I need to go home.

To answer your first question; Yes, we do have pasta

Also, you will need to sign up for Myspace in order to view my pictures in all their badly scanned, low resolution glory. Then you have to send a friend request, which I must approve. The time it takes for me even to post here is exhausting, so that is going to be a hassle, both for me and anyone who might want to view my pictures. But it is the course I have chosen to take. Hopefully it will benefit me in the future. I will still post my blogging here though. As if anyone actually reads this. Or should. Now, on to the second question; What episode of the Simpson's is the title from. Don't ask Johnny "Tight Lips", though. He'll tell you to suck a lemon. As of right now, I only have a few drawings up, but I will probably try to add a few other pictures I've created, either with the computer, more drawings, photography or all the above. Sandy's already put her two cents in. In the future, I might try to make prints and advertise using Myspace as a platform. But that is still a ways off. I'll probably add a link to my page this weekend. Then I might try and finish the drawing that is the bane of my existence.

Hello... Is anyone out there?

I've just spent a few minutes checking out all the usual blogs I read almost daily and not a one has updated. And I thought I had a boring weekend. Actually it wasn't that bad. I went to Durand's, played Grand Turismo and pined for all the cars we can't have. Then I came home late and pissed Sarah off. That was fun. Then I went for a drive Sunday morning to take Sarah a "package" which will remain unspecified due to it's femininity. I played Resident Evil for a few hours and posted some drawings on Myspace. You have to be my friend to look at them though. Sandy said she liked them, which made me happy. Then I went to my parents house and ate dinner and laughed at part of Wallace and Gromit and The Curse of the Wererabbit.
Then we watched part of that 9/11 mini-series and was bored and pissed off at the same time. Then I updated my Ipod that I got for $90 bucks thanks to a deal Nate got when he bought his new computer. There, my life in 30 seconds. That's so sad that I can sum up my weekend in 30 seconds. Bah. I'm going to drink tonight.

It's soooo sloooow

How come after a long weekend, or any weekend for that matter, when you finaly drag your sorry ass back into work, the day drags on sooooo long. I mean really. As fast as this three day weekend went, today should be over. Why do the laws of time and space not apply when you are at work. I would attempt to throw myself down some stairs to pass the time, but since these laws don't apply here, I wouldn't get hurt and would have to sheepishly return to my desk to finish the day. Maybe longer to make up the time I missed laying at the bottom of the stairwell. The window would't be any good either since I'm on the first floor and would just fall on the pavement outside. And then I would have to pay for the window. That means more time at work. Oh well. It's almost time to leave. At least it was an hour ago.

I should be a weather man

Except I should just come on after the weather segments so that I can say "no it won't" to everything the meteorologist just said. But what really annoys me is not their inability to accurately forecast the weather but rather the actual weather. It never thunderstorms during the day anymore. It's always at 2am. We never have a good storm in the middle of the day. Half the time I don't even know it rained at all until I leave for work the next day and the streets are still wet. That sucks. Whatever happened to the those days. I remember my junior year in high school where it rained for a month straight, day and night and I loved it. Why won't it do that again. It needs to; I command it. Damnit.

I really just want the power to go off at work so I can leave early. There, I said it.

Dinner is served

Leon has been avenged. I beat Resident Evil 4 the other night. I have to say that it is the hardest easy game to beat. I felt challenged but most of the times where I died were due to me "trying things". You know that old joke "what are a rednecks last words? Hey y'all, watch this!" That kind of stuff. "I wonder if I can hit him there. I wonder if this grenade will make his teeth click", or trying to knife fight something that you really shouldn't get close enough to stab. But either way, it is done. But enough of the games.

I finished another picture Tuesday. It wasn't the large one that I should have finished a long time ago though. It did however take me two months to finally get it done. I'll try and finish the big one very soon. It's soooo close. I just need to buckle down and do it. Of course, once that's done I have another I've been slowly penciling so that when I am ready to work on it, it won't take nearly as long. I'll probably post the finished product later. I'm a little wary of that though since there has been talk of people taking images from other blogs and professing that they are indeed the artist. I spoke with a co-worker and he said I should set up a Myspace account to show my work. That way I could advertise it. I don't know about that but at least I could keep track of who had access to my work. I don't know, I'll figure all that out later.

GODDAMN! pt2

Revenge is a dish best served with a boomstick and a smile. As I vowed, I am currently avenging Leon on Resident Evil 4. So far I've died about twenty times doing so, but despite that high number, I've actually progressed pretty far in the game. That and many of the times have been through trial and error. Just to be safe, when you fight the two giants in the mine, make sure one has been thoroughly swallowed up by the lava before you get too close to it. Just to let you know. Ouch. That is one creepy game and I love it for that reason. Just the chill you get when you hear that chainsaw rev up. I'm still mad that my body ran a couple of steps after one of the Sisters clotheslined me with her chainsaw blade. Ouch again. But worry not Leon, I will avenge you. I will also obtain the weapon called the Chicago Typewriter. It's a Tommygun! And that has to the perfect name for it. Usually there are cool names for the weapons, like the Broken Butterfly magnum revolver or the Riot Gun shotgun. I just hope you can use it in the regular game and not just in Ada's mini-game. Either way, I'm sure I'll laugh a disturbing laugh as it tears through a crowd of Gonados. He he he, I can't wait. BOOM, HEADSHOT! BOOM, HEADSHOT!

So Close, But Still So Far

Earliest picture












Latest... As of tonight. Will the end ever come? I vow here and now to be done by the end of this month. Maybe.

Ok, listen to this bullshit. We were talking about bad movies and the Benifer movie came up. A comment was made about whether or not Jennifer Lopez has made a good movie and I mentioned The Cell. We began talking about the part with the horse which made me bring up Damien Hirst, who may or may not have been the inspiration for the scene. I began explaining to Brian about how an "artist" named Mark Bridger poured black ink into one of Damien's sculptures called "Away from the flock". This piece features a white sheep suspended in a tank of formaldehyde. He was not protesting the work and did this as an act of "conceptual art", which I would translate as vandalism. He actually thought that Damien would not be upset about his actions. A few years later Damien Hirst published an art book featuring "Away from the flock" which included a pull tab. When pulled it would fill the tank with "black ink", obscuring the animal suspended in the fluid. Here's the kicker, wait for it... After it was published, Bridger sued him for copyright infringement. Ain't that some shit? The fact that he had the balls. If I was the judge in that case I would have just thrown it out. Then ordered Mr Bridger socked in the nuts. Now that's justice!

Surly only looks out for one guy

Sometimes I hate too much. It kind of makes my stomach hurt. All the hating I do. It's like working two jobs, being angry and all. And then it pisses me off at working two jobs and not getting paid for one of them. And then I get paid and find out I'm still broke and it makes me even more angry. And then people tell me I need anger management and that makes me even more angry. So I tell them to shove it and it makes them angry, which in turn makes me angry because they can't take joke. It's a vicious cycle. Break the cycle man, break the cycle.

If you build it, they will come...Maybe

A friend was complaining that no one goes to his blog. I didn't know he even had one till last night. If you don't tell anyone, then no one will ever know. But now I know, and knowing is half the battle. I've linked to it, so now the hypothetical readers of my blog may become hypothetical readers of his too. Like one big hypothetical family. Hypothetically.

Welcome to loserville. Population, me

I failed in my attempt to prove Sarah wrong. I have not finished my picture yet. Despite working till 1am last night, it remains incomplete. I need new pens though. I could cover a lot more ground if I wasn't trying to cover large areas with a .005 pen. But it's ok. The only thing she wins are bragging rights and I'll finish it soon enough, hopefully by the weekend. I will, however, still need to mat and frame it. A feat that will be a lot more easily realized once I have a good mat cutter. The handheld cutter sucks, but it's better than nothing. I do have one picked out that I want though. The price tag of about $140 is not too bad considering some of the others go for around $400. I want it. I love framing in general. If Michael's paid the same and gave me the same number of hours I never would have left the frame shop. Oh well.

The end of days...again

For some reason, probably all the conflict happening in the world, people are beginning to wonder if these are a sign of the end of days. Really people...Things have always been this bad and people have always done the horrific things that we all read about in the papers. The only difference are the means. Nowadays terrorist use bombs, but there have been guns for hundreds of years and swords and knives since the beginning of time. People have always died on the edge of them by the thousands and still the Savior has not returned. I'm not saying He's not coming or anything but I think everyone is a lot more jumpy than they need to be. Besides, when they say it could happen in our lifetimes, based on what's in the bible, it won't be in most of our lifetimes because most of us are supposed to be killed off in all the carnage that leads up to His coming. What's the point of this post? I don't even know. It just irritates me with all the religious types pinning for the Second Coming believing that they are the chosen few who will ascend to Heaven. Most of the shit you people do outside of the church pretty much guarantees you a spot on the rollercoaster to Hell. Much deserved. But that's judging! I guess I'll see you all in Hell too. Elevator to Hell, going down!

Some call it art. Others call it fart.

Since Gran Turismo 4 came out, Durand and I have had a friendly competition with the photo sessions. Some of the picture are downright sweet ass, which I makes me wonder about the artistic quality of them. Granted they are not actual photos that were developed in a dark room, hell they aren't even of real cars. But can you really deny visual stimuli that they are? Does it depend on how it is presented? Who created it? Or is it just something that everyone can just agree on as beautiful?
Sure, given the ease at which the game makes of getting really cool action shots anyone could produce pictures like these but does it take something a little more than a copy of the game and some free time to make make something as close to what the designers had imagined? If I had taken this picture with an actual camera and an actual car and produced the exact same image, would either be more valid than the other? Well either way, I like doing it and I hope Durand has some more when I go over tomorrow. This is still my favorite one though:
Woo Hoo! Look At That Evo Fly! That's right Iceman... I am dangerous.

That's right. This is my life. A world of pictures and none of them worth a damn. But I like them. Such a life... Where everything and nothing is art. I like this one I took of Emily while in Memphis. It kind of reminds me of Edward Hopper. But that's just me.

Oh well, time to play some games. At least there's validation in beating the next level.

Baddest is now a word

I beat Medal of Honor: Frontline the other night. Without using any codes. I'm the baddest person I know. I don't know anyone else who has beat it without some kind of cheat code. Which makes me the baddest person I know. Maybe even the baddest you know. Never mind the thousands of twelve year olds weaned on Halo and the like who can pass through games like this in their sleep. Either way, I'm the baddest, even though spellchecker is telling me that "baddest" isn't even a word. It is now, and I am He. Booya, Herr Nazi Stinkbutt! What's that? "Vas?" you say? Here, let me say it again. Booya! When's the last time you heard that? That's because only the baddest are allowed to say it. Booya again! IN YOUR FACE!

Another day at the office

This is my day. Maybe that's why my head hurts.

The countdown has begun

I have five days to finish one of my pictures. Sarah said I couldn't finish it before August so that's what I'm going to do. Maybe. I've been working on it since about October, so it might be a good for me to actually finish it. I'm sure there is more to it than just finishing it, though. Something psychological. Like, once I get it finished, what will I have left to work on? Nevermind the other unfinished pictures I have to work on. But this one has taken a large amount of work and effort and to finally be done with it, I don't know if I'm ready for that. Nevertheless, it will be done in five days. Maybe. Just because she said I couldn't do it. Of course it all depends on whether or not I'm feeling the juice. I tried to get a few things going Sunday and just couldn't. I ended up just playing games since I couldn't even get started. Better to not attempt than to go and screw up the whole picture. And with as long as I have been working on it, I probably would have blown my brains out. Of course it look like I did that before I started drawing:

There are actual figures in there. They are just a little hard to see since they only exist in pencil form right now.

Blogger has the worst spell checker ever. Ever

I used widescreen in my last post and while checking for errors it offered ideogram as a replacement. For widescreen. Where does that even come from? How? Why? And as I'm checking this post; the same thing. Whatever... Cuckoo.

Double fireballs are awesome

About 12 years ago in 1994, two Street Fighter II movies were unleashed upon the world. Only one mattered and it wasn't the one with Van Damme. It was Street Fighter II : The Animated Movie. Unlike the live action movie or the Alpha movie that followed, this one had real fights and a coherent storyline. That and the Chun Li and Vega fight. Now, after it was released on the Street Fighter 15th Anniversary Collection in it's edited form (though it was advertised as uncut), it has arrived, finally uncut and double-sided with the original Japanese voice actors. The only problem with the Japanese movie is that none of the music that was added in the stateside version is included. That's right, no KMFDM during the Chun Li fight. The effect is an incredibly intense fight scene with incredibly lackluster music. I was actually bored. That's right, bored. But even after seeing this movie a million times, I still find myself sucked into it. Even with the disappointment of the music in that fight scene, the rest of the movie does not fail to deliver. The point I think I love the most though, is the fact that it doesn't make Ken look like a chump or a Ryu clone. At the height of the action in the Alpha movie, why does Ken's Dragon Punch fail to KO the villain goon? We all know that Ken is as powerful as Ryu, and depending on who you talk to, he's stronger (remember Ken's ending in Alpha 2). He wouldn't make a very good sparring partner if he wasn't. But I digress. The Street fighter movie is probably the best pick as far as Street Fighter movies that do not include Sonny Chiba. I don't think I really need to mention the fully restored shower scene, which was... Um interesting before the frontal nudity was placed back in the movie. You know what part I'm talking about. Either way, when watching the part of the movie that takes place in India, keep an eye out for Gouki (Akuma), as he does make an appearance in the movie. Without the widescreen version the movie is now presented in, we never knew.

I'm Out Bitches

I've got a five day weekend! I'm going to Memphis. I'll see you on Monday... Bitches.

GODDAMN!

I want this game. I will avenge you Leon.

Everything or nothing... Usually nothing

Last night, Durand and I attempted to play through the co-op missions on 007 Everything or Nothing. There's nothing like being shot full of holes. I really enjoy this game, which I have to say is very refreshing after a bad spat of 007 games. Not naming names (cough, Agent Under Fire). This one is in third person, so you get to see Bond, or whoever you are playing as, get shot all to hell. We do pretty good up to a point, but always get cut short when we find some kind of rhythm. We will beat it though. Soon. Nevermind this game is probably a couple of years old and we have been trying for just about as long, off and on. But it will happen. Nightfire was a cool game too. It was probably the best follow up to the N64's GoldenEye. That's no easy feat either. But as far as Agent Under Fire and GoldenEye Rouge Agent are concerned; "No , Mr Bond, I expect you to die."

Don't stop thinking about tomorrow

This is the song playing now. Everytime I hear it I think of Bart Simpson driving the tank, singing this song, hopped up on "Focusin". Poor Sir WideBottom. Alive but without a purpose. Kind of like me. I recounted my college years with a co-worker during lunch I have to admit that if I had sucked it up and finished what I began, I would probably be a lot happier these days. Of course there's no guarantee of that and I' m not unhappy where I am. Quite the opposite. But still, everyone wonders about what things would be like with different decisions made. I made an observation that I might have been able to do something with the knowledge I've gained besides spot a portion of a picture in video games or movies and know the painter, title and even sometimes the year. The example I use today, one I've used too many times, is in the movie "About Schmidt", the part where Jack Nicholson's character is asleep in the bath is based on a painting by Jacques-Louis David (pronounced Da-veed). It's called "The Death Of Marat". It's a very romantic painting of an actual incident, in which Marat was murdered in the bath by his lover slash spy-er-on-him by the government (I think, it's been a while). The scene was obviously a bit more bloody than the painting but that goes into the artistic movement of the time. Why do I know this? Of what use is it? None. Bah.

I'm so bored I can't even post anything

Literally. I've written and erased so many times. I'm at work and the "Instant Replay" song is playing overhead. Wee-ooo, Wee-ooo, Wee-ooo. Yeah, that's in the song. It's also the sound you hear after I've tried to escape the song by jumping out of the window. I probably wouldn't even make it though, because in my moment (or moments?) of insanity, I would more than likely forget to take my headset off and as I ran for the window, I would get rubberbanded back into my cubicle by the cord. That would be pretty funny to see, if physics actually worked the way they do in my head, anyways. I just can't wait to get out of here and get back to my life of glorified violence and crime. I stared back up with Grand Theft Auto III after Durand brought Liberty City Stories over Thursday night. I beat it but when I loaded my game, I saw that I still had about 49% of the game left. Time to get my hands dirty again. And again.

Forget danger, you can't be safe anyways

Punching people in the face brings a smile to my face again. I received a copy of Street Fighter Alpha Anthology a few days back. And the cup of nostalgia overflowed. I'm still a little ticked that Capcom didn't include a version of Alpha with the 15th Anniversary Collection. But with this collection I can see why. I think including just one version of Alpha would have only provided a taste of what the Anthology does. Personally, Alpha 2 is the crowning achievement of the Alpha series, but that's just me. The gem of the collection though, ironically has to be the inclusion of Super Gem Fighter MiniMix. With all the hardcore Alpha Counters and Super Combos, it was great to shift gears and play something a little more light hearted. There is no way you can play this game without cracking a smile, despite spewing a raging torrent of curse words at being beaten by the computer yet again. Not that it happened to me or anything. It was all business when it came down to the serious fighters and all the little techniques I had perfected to score multiple hits on unsuspecting foes came flooding back. Warrior's Dreams is much like Street Fighter II, before they added the turbo, as far as the pacing of the fights. It's slow and deliberate. Timing and strategy is much more important than in later incarnations. Alpha 2 expands on this but adds a little speed and a couple of characters, not to mention the cool secret field stage with all the lightning. Alpha 2 Gold is to the Alpha series as Third Strike is to the Street Fighter III series. It takes everything that is good with Alpha 2 builds upon it to make it smoother and more comfortable to play with a few more characters. Alpha 3 however boast the biggest change in game play. The ability to recover mid-air after receiving a hit speeds up the action, and drastically increases the chances you will be KO'd by the computer recovering after you thinking you've pummeled him sufficiently. Yeah, that happened more than once against Adon. Bastard. The influence of the Marvel VS Capcom games can definitely be felt here. But nothing else in the game can be felt more than the computer-controlled M.Bison's Psycho Crusher. It err... crushes you. But it's pretty sweet when it happens. It's not like the one in Street Fighter II, where you can fireball or dragon punch him out of it. The only option is to block it and hope you have enough health to absorb the punishment it deals. And blocking in the air doesn't work. You'll just get splattered all over the place. Then Bison will do that goofy laugh of his while standing over your burnt out corpse. Muwahaha.

Another swing

I finished a drawing about a week ago and even though I don't feel like it's anything spectacular, I submitted it to the reader art section on Juxtapose. It's the second time I've sent something but the last time I didn't read the guidelines as far as the size of the image and just sent it. That doesn't mean that was the reason it wasn't shown; they may have just thought it was crap. Either way, I submitted the new picture "Salome", which was inspired by Aubrey Beardsley's cover. Really, the only similarities are our medium but that's immaterial. It's not really one of my best pieces, but I like it all the same. I hope someone else does too.

Cheeseburger in Paradise

Now Returning to Wichita:A short story by Sarah.
I've found my new calling; i'm gonna work and live at SeaWorld. Me and Shamu, we were meant to be together. This is me in five years, guys. Jumping in the air with Shamu (insert face). I fed a dolphin and a stingray, and I swam in the ocean for the first time and got salt water up my nose. I bonded with my dad who is an avid Jimmy Buffet fan(we drank too many margaritas). I met Captain Hook!

Albert Attacks, Sarah stays cool

Before she left for her week long family vacation in FLorida, Sarah knew that there was a tropical depression headed that way. Little did she know Albert would arrive. In my concern, I texted her to make sure everything was ok. True story: She replies with "No, the girls have taken all the beds and are trying to make me sleep on the couch." Well if they have time to worry about the sleeping arrangments then I guess I don't need to worry too much.

That's what happens when you leave a man alone

The actual event isn't as entertaining as the way Sarah explained it to her dad but that's OK. For comedic purposes I will use her story. Which begins with her coming home from work and finding me in the living room in front of the TV. I have a couple of knives and am bleeding from my right hand. There is a steady torrent of swear words leaving my mouth and I look like a mad man cursing at the television which is in the off setting. All her dad had to say is "That's what happens when you leave a man alone." The only thing that could have made the story any funnier (or scarier) is if I were only wearing a pair of tighty-whities. Fortunately that wasn't the case.

Now for the back story as to why I was assaulting the TV. First off, it's a TV-VCR combo. Bad news. I had inserted a tape to queue it up for when Sarah got home. As I was doing this it began to make a strange noise and finally after a moment it just shut off. Concerned, I tried to turn the TV back on, which it did, but for some reason the tape appeared to be stuck. After trying to eject the tape the TV once again shut off. It continued to do this after several tries. So I get the bright idea that I can just pry it out. I reach my hands inside and try to pull it out but something inside is holding it tight. In my now understood to be vain struggle to pull it out my hands rubbed against the top of the opening, slicing my skin open. Hence the bleeding. I didn't even feel it until my hand got sticky from the blood. So at this point I'm livid and decide to get a knife to jimmy it free. But this was also in vain as the tape still resides inside the VCR. Fortunately I was able to move it around to where the TV won't switch off but I won't be watching any tapes in it for a while, if ever. It is old though, round abouts of six to seven years and I would like to get a new one. The TV part still works fine though so I can't justify throwing it out just yet. But for the record, there were no tighty-whities involved.

Boom Town

GTA Liberty City Stories comes out tomorrow. You know what that means. Plenty of driving on the sidewalk backwards firing a machine gun and yelling fuck the police. Or maybe that's just the way I play. What's in your wallet?

By the way, X-Men blew. Short of Beast trouncing everyone, despite his permed and pressed hair, it was a disappointment. I don't want to spoil anything but I have to wonder why no one asked where Scott was after what seemed like several days. At least Juggernaught said his now- almost-as-famous-as-"I'm-Rick-James-Bitch"-catchphrase. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you need to go to youtube and look under "Juggernaught bitch". It is now part of pop culture, just like Chappelle's Rick James skit.

Can't wait to see how this train wreck ends

I mean, the story is already so screwed up. I like them and all, but really. Why couldn't they just start at the beginning and when they got to the end, stop. Why all the mixing and matching of characters. Why isn't Mystic and Rouge hot? Why is Magneto a frail and useless old man? Why is Wolverine so tall and without any intensity? The only good casting job they did was with Patrick Steward. He was the obvious choice. I did also think Alan Cummins was good as the Elf (Nightcrawler). Tonight, though, I will finally see the much awaited ending of these average series of movies of a better than average gang of mutants. At least Juggernaught says "I'm the Juggernaught!" Too bad he probably won't yell it every time he enters the room.

Moving day is coming up

Fuck this apartment complex. I can't wait to move this weekend. Of course it will suck because I'm sure all my so-called friends will suddenly evaporate when it's time. Nevermind I've helped just about all of them move at some point. Some more than once. But I'm done with that shit. I'm just happy to be moving. Even if I have to move everything by myself. Even the heavy shit:
Nobody gets my sense of humor. Such a lonely place this world is, tisk.

Saddam's sweet-ass ride

I just read that a US reservist has had the vehicle he purchased in Iraq taken from him by ICE. I guess they were treating the vehicle as a war trophy due to the rumors it possibly belong to Saddam. All I have to say about it is I can't blame him, or Saddam for that matter. It's a white Mercedes that is armor plated, bulletproof, has hidden microphones and a loudspeaker. But that isn't what makes it so cool. Get this, it also has several pipes along the side that shoot flames. Flames! That is awesome. Kind of like Spy Hunter or something. All it needs are oil slicks. I don't know or want to know in which situation he felt like he might need to use them but hey, either way that is cool. Or hot... Which ever.

Dan's Saikyo Dojo

Kore ga saikyo ryu. I received a weird email yesterday and I'm not sure what to make of it. It was from a member of M80 and was in regards to the release of the Street Fighter Alpha Anthology. Honestly, I have been behind in my gaming and I didn't even know they were making an anthology. I'm still kind of mad that they didn't include a version of alpha in the 15th Anniversary Collection. That and the "uncut" movie was actually the cut version but that is a different story. But the sender of the email was wondering if I would be interested in posting a press release or a review since I would be a "reputable influencer". Maybe if Capcom can come up with a reason why Ryu still doesn't have his red headband. But the problem with me being a good source would mean that people would actually have to read my blog, which I know for a fact that people don't. I could probably count the comments since I started this thing on one hand. Either way, I guess I'll get in touch with the sender and see what they had in mind. Yoga...

All ways are the Queens ways

So I went to play Halo with my cousins Friday and when I arrived, Alex was playing Kingdom Hearts II. Visually the game is pretty awesome even though the fights seem very long. The final boss has about five life bars. But it was cool to see the rose thorn effects floating in the air as he darted around, Dragonball Z- like. After seeing the ending I had to start again on the first installment. I really want to know how it goes from the Keyblade choosing Sora to the ending in II and the preview of III. Games are like books to me and when I start one, even if it's not that great, I still want to know how it ends.

It's coming along...Slowly

Way back, I said I would post some in-progress pictures of my current project. Well here is the initial sketch and a few pics that show the progression up to now.

And,

which leads to what it looks like today, where I am currently.

I'm never going to finish at this rate. I've been working, half-assed I must admit, since about October on this. Good googley moogley.

TGIF

I just finished looking through Sedgwick Co's most wanted and thankfully I didn't see anyone I knew. I was thinking maybe I would at least see one person, but no. No one I know as of now. There are some interesting people on there. I'm just that bored. The workday that will never end...

Stupider like a fox

Well he's done it again. Remember when he said he wouldn't release the original versions of the Star Wars Trilogy? Well he's going to. And he knows we will buy it. Even if we already broke down and bought the "special edition" release. He knows us better than we do. That sneaky son of a bitch. I'm more angry because I have no choice but to buy the originals, which will include the "special editions" that nobody wanted. He's got us coming and going. Sometimes it sucks being a fan.

Apparently memories can be deadly

I'm finally writing about Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and let me just say Sephiroth is scary. I remember people who didn't particularly care for him saying things like " Why does everyone like him, all he really did was walk through some fire and hide in the crater for most of the game." He was also rather easy to beat at the end of the game if you knew how to fight him. But with all the criticism, the creators responded with his cameo in the battle arena in Kingdom Hearts, to which most people have verified that he is damn-near unbeatable. I can't say for myself since I haven't played too much of it and I know people who have beaten him, but either way, regardless of what people think, in the Final Fantasy world Sephiroth is bad news. And in the movie he proves it. I was a little put off by how hard it is to follow some of the action but after seeing it the second time it was a bit easier. The tag team on Bahamut is one of the best and it gives you an idea how tight the whole crew is, sealing in concrete for me that they are my favorite Final Fantasy cast. And undeniably this was a real Final Fantasy, instead of the CGI science-fiction movie they tried to pass off as one a few years back(The Spirits Within). I don't really understand why it didn't have a theatrical release like the other flop, since people who played the game can relate to the characters because it was a sequel to the Playstation game that really brought Final Fantasy into the mainstream. Most people these days ,especially those with gaming consoles in their homes will have some knowledge of the series, even if they never play one of the games. But maybe it didn't have enough financial muscle behind it, or if it did open in theaters in Japan, maybe it didn't do so hot. Whatever the reason, it's still pretty sweet.

Not-So-Incredible-Hulk

Between my waking every hour on the hour last night I managed to have a couple of dreams. One of them featured me as the Incredible Hulk. "That had to be awesome!" you are probably thinking, but no. Instead of smashing trucks, throwing tanks, and fighting supervillians like Rhino and Abomination, I spent my Hulked-out time looking for pants that would fit. I even tried on a hoodie... While I was the Hulk. Proof that even when at my coolest, I"m still a lame-O.
As Doctor Octopus said in The Revenge Of The Sinister Six, "I think I liked you better as the thick-witted clod that ran around the Midwest in torn trousers yelling 'Hulk will smash."

F-ing scary (I hope)

We are going to see Silent Hill tonight. From what I understand it is going to be fucking scary. We will see. We are all familiar with the game it's based on and have high expectations. Hopefully this won't be another faux Resident Evil type let down that won't bear any resemblance to the game. Already it has the marks though with changes and items that give away certain details. But here's hoping. Besides, it better be good because we are blowing off playing Halo over Nate's (much to his dismay, sorry).

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Friday was my birthday. Yes, I'm just now getting around to posting about it. Almost a week later. That's just how I do things, sorry. But anyways, if you take a look at the picture you will see that yes it does say 28 on the cake. Obviously it has Spiderman on it. I am probably the only 28 year old who still gets superheroes on his cakes. Other than Comicbook Guy. But to everyone who would like to mock me now, no I do not live in my parents basement, I have my own car and steady live-in girlfriend and I hold down a job that is not in a comic book store.
So there, nah. Besides, it's more fun than having a boring old cake that you forget about after it's been devoured. But all in all it was a good birthday and gifts were cool. And I got my ass beat which is a time honored tradition. Booyaka.

I won't have her tunnel bandied about this office, willy-nilly

In the spirit of the TV show "The Office" and movie "Office Space", Nate has decided to create a whole new blog dedicated to the real happenings of the office in which we work. I am a co-author of this blog which means now I have two blogs with which to waste my time. But this new one will only contain the true events of our daily dosage of office dumbfoundery. Is that even a word? Shit, who cares, nobody reads this anyways. But now there are two blogs to post things that nobody reads. Well, at least I could catch a monkey.

Because sometimes you have to ride someone else's wave

I did a little work last night while listening to some old jams, such as Das Efx's "Straight Up Sewaside" and Busta Rhymes "The Coming" but it wasn't until I popped in "The Blueprint" did the juices start to flow. I guess sometimes you have to ride someone's else's wave of "I'm the baddest motherfucker on earth". I guess Jay Z never said that but he probably believes it. Either way, that shit got me hyped. But of course all his talk about how rich he was didn't rub off on me as I am still here at my day job, working for someone else. The satellite radio is having the reverse effect on me feeling like I am the baddest and I am making pictures like this now:


Yeah, that sucks. But I did hear Billy Joel's Heart Attack-ack-ack-ack song today. And at least that leaves a smile on my face.

Yoga Yoga Yoga

I hope nobody is reading this because I really don't have anything to write about. But as Aqua Teen Hunger Forces' Ol'Drippy said "idle hands spend time at the gentiles." I am at work, so it wouldn't be that good of an idea to be idle. I just finished sifting through all my email forwards and Orbitz was tired of my 400-160 win record in pool so they decided to reset my user ID. Bitches. But I couldn't leave well enough alone so I re-registered and am up 10-1 already. Bitches. The called me Mustard when I was really Ketchup so I had to zap their stupid asses. I'm made out of laffy-taffy. I wish I could zap Classmates and Freecreditreport.com for all the shit they keep sending me. And I just want to know who really thinks Billy Madison is funnier that Happy Gilmore? I mean really, it had Action Jackson in it. I had never watched Billy Madison until a few days ago and it was f-ing dumb. But at the same time it had it's moments so I can't hate it too much. The Bob Barker fight trumps it, hand down. Sorry, Billy.

*Random thought- Play Street Fighter Alpha 2 and pick Dhalsim, then jump into the air and hit the taunt button. Ha Ha.*

Do You Know Who I Am?

It looks like the only thing I did right this weekend was get shot full of holes. We played Halo at my cousin's Saturday night. After watching the Jayhawks lose to Bradley, I was in the mood for some killn'. And kill I did. However, looking at my bullet-riddled body laying all spread eagle while waiting to respawn took up most of the night. I also got hit in the face a lot with the butts of other people's guns. But it was all worth it in the spirit of fun. That and Nate sucks a lot worse than I do. Remember that time I hit you in the back of the head with my gun? Oh, no you don't, ha. I did end up carrying my team towards the end of the night since Michael, Todd and Linden weren't pulling their weight. Yup, it was all me, leading our team straight into the jaws of defeat. Well, we all played well but the youngin's there still showed us up. Royce got a good portion of it on film but I don't know how much he can use without editing for massive amounts of swearing. "Wait, he went over, where did he, no, oh shit, goddamnit not again. Hurry up and spawn. Alright now, damn man, you fucking fragged me, hurry up and spawn." Yeah, that was my night. But as I left, Jonathan challenged me to a game of Street Fighter Alpha. One day the boys will learn that I've been playing Street Fighter when they were still in elementary school. And that's where I took him. Yeah Yeah. They also showed us a video called "Juggernaught bitch." It's an episode of X-Men dubbed over with some hilarious commentary. Comb your beard and go to youtube.com to view it asap.

C-Murder didn't kill nobody

I find it hilarious that the murder case for C-Murder, Master P's little brother and founder of No Limit records, had his murder trial thrown out today. That's comedy. The man named C-Murder didn't kill anybody. Apparently, C-Murder is just his "stage" name.

What's up Texas, What's up

Only one thing to say... Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

Question: If Zangief asked to borrow your car, would you let him?

I wouldn't. Look at his face...

The boredom is killing me, oh wait, it's a bullet

I think that if the opportunity presented itself right now, I would cross the streams.

But then if I had then I would not have had the chance to hear Shane in Quality Assurance shut down some dealer. That's right! Tell that motherfucker! I hate them so much. I mean, whatever happened to courtesy. I love it when dealers call from dealerships named "Friendly" and they absolutely are not. In fact, the polar opposite. Do they call the phone company like that. Do they call up to see what it would take to get digital cable and completely talk all over the person who picks up. I mean they are trying to help you, asshole. Just like we are. I cannot understand being rude to someone who is honestly trying to help you. Maybe if they are in such a hurry to talk to their paper buyer, then maybe they should be prepared before they call. Calling up and demanding to speak with who ever before you even really understand why you are calling defeats the purpose of being in a hurry. Because the person that picks up the call is going to ask them for their name,dealership and application number. Name, rank, number, simple as that. But I guess you can't expect too much from someone when you ask them which state they are calling from and they tell you the name of the dealership. Good job.

I can't sleep

Sometimes I think I should go back to school. I know I'm not the best at anything I do but damnit if she can get a master's in illustration then I figure I should at least be able to flunk out of a master's program. I'm sure her foundation work is probably the shit, though. She probably can really draw and paint. But if that's the case then maybe she should show that instead. And maybe I should keep my mouth shut until I'm published, as she is. Until then take this, Pow!

Her Cheshire Cat picture is pretty dope though...

Going Hungry

Since it's lent and I can't have any meat, I finally am letting Nate borrow Aqua Teen Hunger Force Volume One in exchange for the first season of the BBC The Office. Rise chicken, rise.

Clip Art

I've been on a clip art kick for a few days now. It's fun and easy to take a random picture and give it a quote that has noting to do with the picture. Try it, it's fun!

I think it's time to go home

Bordom does this to me. I can't help it. I want my work day to be over, ugh.

Spacecataz part one

What do you say to a 48 year old woman who is drunk on a Sunday night and sleeping with your 25 year old friend who says "your friends with the all inportant jobs are leaving" in that tone and my sister Christina and Sarah are coming off a 14 and 12 hour work day with mentally handicapped people and Sarah has to get up the next day at seven to run a participant for her research study and go to class and then work from two to 10 with the same afore mentioned people and the friend is making out with her and she introduces herself as an actress that showed her breast in a Manson family movie that she was in at one time. Yeah... I didn't say anything to her either.

Rise of the Machines

Today was a titantic battle against the evil machines of the office. Nate and I fought valiantly against the printer while fending off an un-ending assault by the fax machine. Just look at it. The fax machine just looks like a jerk.


Those two slots look like beady, evil little eyes and notice it's gnarled, fanged, wide faced grin. Just evil. I'm sure Nate will elaborate more here...

Hey kid, you wanna see a dead body?

Untitled 02-08-06

I input the last plug and all my senses are flooded. Static and white noise fills my eyes and ears. Curled up on the floor I try to block it all, but it feeds directly into my brain. Scratching and crawling on the floor I search for a way to cut the feed but to no avail. Only by luck do I trip over the control box. Fumbling with blind fingers I find the X and Y pitch. The static dies, still shouting it's curses as the picture fades in. And it is beautiful.

I wish I could spit in the face of every one of them and smile

I might as well work for the sanitation department because then I would work with literal pieces of shit instead of the figurative pieces of shit that would consist of the car dealers I spend the better part of my days listening to the incessant word vomit and bullshit spewing from the assholes in their faces they call mouths. If I could only spit in the face of every one of them and smile. I hate them, as I hate Hell and all Montagues.

Jesus Christ! Get the Escalade, we're out of here!

You know, I can understand someone being upset about others making fun of something that is sacred to you. But at the same time I can't understand wanting to behead someone over it. That means I would have to kill the staff of not only The Family Guy but also The Simpson, who I have already contemplated killing because of the awful writing. I'm sorry, but that just eludes me and maybe it's because of my religious background, but I will never understand killing another over an ignorant insult that can be ignored. But the protesters... They do not want to be pictured as terrorist and instead want to be seen in this holiest of holy lights when they are chanting about how the cartoonist need to have their heads removed from their bodies. Is that how you honor you God, is by breaking his laws. Maybe avenging his reputation outweights killing a human being but the way I figure, if he created the universe, he doesn't need my help in punishing some smart-ass cartoonist. I'm not attacking Islam but the clerics need to think about how the world sees them. They are considered holy men but there are those that are inciting the crowds with calls for revenge. "Holy men", huh. Is this how worldly, honorable, God fearing men behave. It sounds like it helps their agenda more than Gods. I just wish that they would understand that if you want to be seen as a peaceful people, you can't blow other people up, infidels or not.

Inanimate... I'll show him inanimate!

I'm nursing a headache that I've had most of the day. I'm sure it's from being overworked. I've been at work since about 1 am last night, though not exactly here. I came in last night when I went to sleep. I dreamt that I was at work, which of course sucks. Dreaming and dreaming of my usual workday. But something strange has been happening to me this week. Almost every night I have been waking up at about 5 am. It's kind of starting to freak me out. So when I woke up again last night at the usual time I didn't think too much about it besides the obvious strangeness of it. I tossed and turned for a while which has become the 5 am ritual and eventually fell asleep again. And began to dream again... About being at work, again. And not a continuation but a different dream altogether. As if I don't spend enough time here already. I don't remember what movie it was but they mentioned the working all day and now they get your dreams too. I've already worked my eight hours and now here I am, working another. Why don't they just use a gun.

Why Work?

Ok, so it's 3:52 am. I've been drawing and drinking and fretting about whether or no to show up to my 10 year high school reunion. And of course there is work tomorrow. I wish all I had to do was to worry about how strong my karate was like Akuma here.

Carve weird wooden men, practice karate and hang a whipping on Ryu's ass every now and then. That would be the life.

Steppn' out

I hate clubs. Even more, I hate clubs in Wichita. But it is Mark's birthday so I guess it would be wrong to not go, damn it. I just hate clubs so much. I'm crossing my fingers something will come up but more than likely I'll be sitting at the table, nursing my one beer for the night and waiting for the girls to get tired of dancing so that we can leave. At least Sarah and Christina have to work early tomorrow and everyone hates crowds, so maybe we will have an early night. Here's hoping. I hate clubs.

So now we're Nazis

Damn it. Now we're Nazis. I always thought they were the bad guys, like in the Indiana Jones movies or Castle Wolfenstein. But now, according to the much loved Dicta... President of Cuba, Fidel Castro, our president Bush is as bad as Hitler. Now I'm no fan of our cowboy, smoke em' out, draw!, it's curtains (?) president but that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. In order to compare him to Hitler he would have to get the whole country behind him, a feat I must add, he has not accomplished, convince us that causing bodily harm to a minority group of people is OK and carry out such atrocities as were seen during world war two. I'm sorry, but he has not crossed that line yet, no matter how unconstitutional the wiretaps were, which I must also protest. Either way, Between Fidel and Hugo, the communist Marx Brothers who muscled their way into "office" sure have a lot to say about us instead of focusing of the shit that's happening in their own countries.

And remember, you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon

So I had a rather uneventful weekend, other than getting a fix-it ticket for the burnt out headlight on the truck. Which because of I have to make this observation. You never see cops when someone else on the road is in violation, whether it be a headlight, speeding or driving drunk. But as soon as you inch on to the road they just materialize behind you, lights flashing and sirens wailing. Oh well, it's only a fix-it ticket. They looked right over the twenty corpses I happened to be taking to the pig farm that night. And I am aware that the title of this post has nothing to do with the subject, thanks.