Teenage Suicide! Don't Do It!

I'm kinda glad I'm not an angst-ridden teenager any more. Everybody should check out http://insomniarocks.blogspot.com/. I had clicked one of my interests listed to see who else had the same interest and it turns out that he had left a comment on the person's blog I went to. There wasn't anything of any importance at first glance until I noticed "nigger cunt". So of course I had to go to his blog. Fucking hell. No matter what happens in the future there will always be these people. You know, teenagers. "I spend too much time alone listening to music and drawing with the curtains closed and my door locked so my parents can't come in. I don't believe in God because my parents made me go to church and never let me find things out on my own. And He never answers my prayers because I'm still a gawky kid who can't get girls to go out with me and the other kids at school laugh at me and call me names. " Fucking grow up. You hate women because they are smarter than you; you hate other races because you don't know any. Get some nuts and confront the shit that scares you. Quit letting everyone know how old you are not.

Do they know it's Wonderland?

I like to go to the "submit your ad" page on the http://www.dacafe.org/photograph/ site and check out all the Japanese photographers. I was checking out http://clover.petit.cc/ when I came across a picture under daily life. It was a picture of a stamp of all things and it was of a Gundam. On a stamp. Granted, I've never really been into Gundam but I still acknowledge the coolness (or dork-dom) of them. I mean who doesn't want a giant mech suit that can kick all other mech suits' collective asses all at the same time. Which leads me to ask- do the Japanese understand that they live in Cool world. I mean besides the sometimes corny acting and a few terrible J-Pop bands. I wonder if they wake up and are just like "Ok, it's time to get into my incredibly fast Honda Civic and drift down winding streets with blooming Sakura trees all the way to school so that I can get into a huge brawl with the "toughs" with their uniforms all open and yelling the name of special techniques with the school girls with the leg warmers cheering in the background and topping the night off with the girl of my dreams dumping me and me saying "Orro" with swirls for eyes?" Maybe that's the skewed view that most Americans who like that shit have but I just wonder how they deal with being bombarded with all of it. I know how I feel about being bombarded with the one thing Americans never seem to get enough of- Celebrities! And for me it sure ain't no Wonderland. More like D'Oh-erland. Wait did that make any sense. Ah, who the hell cares anyways?

Pickles make me angry

Have you ever had an emotional response to eating? You know like in the movies where the guy gives the woman a spoonful of some delicious ice cream or pastry and she closes her eyes and makes that mmm sound. Well, whenever I eat pickles it's like that but instead of making that mmm sound I tend to make a sound more like the Hulk picking up a really heavy truck and throwing it. Pickles piss me off. It's not even anything I can help. Just the taste of them is enough to make me bang my fist on the table.

I must suck or something

Isn't it weird when people who don't even know you can already guess when you are bad at something? Like in gym class, when a group of guys didn't think I could climb the rope. I’m short so automatically that makes me some kind of pussy. So I proceeded to climb it without the use of my legs. Just my arms, which was something they could not do. Pussies. Which brings me to my second example. I emailed a local gallery just to see what exactly they would need to see in order to be considered for a show. Well that was about two weeks ago at least and still no reply. Therefore I can conclude only one thing. They must have a psychic on board and they have already deemed my work as crap and discarded any knowledge of my email.

Thank God for nerds

I mean look at them. These are the two men that created some of the movies that I spent my formative years watching. Constantly. I can only make one excuse for myself. Look at them.

Gas prices revisted

When I last filled up last week, gas was $3.01. Now they are $2.63. That hurts. My car is kinda slick huh? Too bad it won't be doing much more than this.

I Know Black People

In a nutshell, I think the race issue is rather absurd. But what I find more absurd are people's ideas of what Black people are. The funniest and the most disturbing things I hear always come from people who are not Black. But, because they "grew up with Black people" or "all their friends are Black" they some how understand what it means to be Black. This is even more apparent with the younger MTV generation who equates material possessions as status and culture. To begin, and what actually started me writing about this was an article on MSN that was about the "Mega-Church". And at first there was absolutely nothing about race in this segment. Usually I don't defend the state of rap at this moment, but then after reading a seemingly harmless line about how converting the traditional style of churches to be more modern was like converting Shakespeare into Hip-hop, I felt compelled. Now I understand that there is probably no ill intent meant by that statement, but I have to argue that it reeks of ignorance. Because if they actually read Shakespeare and listened to some rap lyrics, they would hear the same tragedies, the same laments and fateful happenings. I maybe stretching all this a bit thin but I'm sure you see what I mean. Plus I just watched Titus the other night so I know all about Shakespeare. But now for the meat. A while back at work I was asked by a co-worker what the smelly stuff that men put on their faces before they shave. Being a Gillette man I was confused because I never took the time to smell my shaving cream but figured there was no adverse odors. Being frustrated with my and my other co-workers answers, she turned away saying "well you're not really black anyway". Screech! Now because I don't know what Magic Shave is that makes me not black? Obviously she had another reason for saying that. Which would include the way I dress, talk and treat others with some form of respect. So I enlightened her that I don't wear baggie clothes because I like to run and jump and fall down and an oversized jersey and sagging pants would only get in the way. That and I don't feel the need to prove how "black" I am by wearing all the same clothes, listening to the same music and front like I'm some kind of gangster when I live in Wichita, Kansas. I am not a Clone, I have never been nor will I ever be. I let her know how my entire family is proud of their culture and what she knows from dating all her black boyfriends is not what black culture is, what she sees on TV. In the book "Invisible man" by Ralph Ellison, he writes
"A conscience of a race is the gift of its individuals who see, evaluate, record... We create the race by creating ourselves and then to our great astonishment we will have created something far more important. We will have created a culture (Ellison, pg 354)."
That is exactly how I feel about my culture, which would be impossible for any one to fathom who didn't grow up in it. But what really upsets me are the youth that will never know who Ralph Ellison is or Jacob Lawrence or even someone who I really don't know too much about but still respect greatly, Edmonia Lewis. She was a sculptor who crafted "The Death Of Cleopatra" in 1876. Amazing for a black woman at that time in history with the quality of any of the masters. All that goes along with something a co-worker of Sarah's said of Lenny Kravitz. She said he was not black because he wasn't "ghetto" like he was supposed to be. Of course my smart ass had to chime in that he was drafted by the Jews, courtesy of Chapplle Show, episode one, season two. But seriously, not ghetto like he's supposed to be? What the fuck does that mean. That all Black people are supposed to be this dumbass jungle bunny, "I don't know, boss" cartoon versions of Nelly singing it's gettin' hot in hur. That shit pisses me of the point that I need to spit. Lenny Kravitz represents what I feel black people used to be in days of yore. Originality. Despite what lines people want to draw to Hendrix, he is doing something that no one else is. And he is exhibiting a talent that I have to say overshadows those of any rappers, because to play an instrument is beautiful (another reason I'm not Black is because I think it is and am willing to use the word beautiful instead of tizzight, fo shizzle my nizzzle). And as Sarah brought up, what about Hendrix, Billie Holliday, and Ella Fitzgerald. Were they "ghetto"? What about Duke Ellington or Dizzie Gillespie? If what it takes to be Black is a lack of education and a loud speaker system in your burnt out hoopty with 20 inch spinning rims, then count me out. The guys on http://www.wiggaz.com/ probably have a better idea about what it takes to be Black than me. It's a sad day when our Malcolm X's and Martin Luther King Jr's are replaced by Jay-Z and P Diddy, or just Diddy or Sean "Puffy" Combs or whatever the fuck his name is this week. I really don't know when rappers replaced real men of stature but it's pretty disappointing when the spokespeople for us are rappers. Probably because the Jesse Jacksons and Al Sharptons are too busy blaming the federal government for their slow response, all the while jumping in front of the camera to show how much they care. Some old woman shot Jesse Jackson down from his high horse for not bringing any form of relief when he went to visit New Orleans to complain about the feds. Proving the fact that he and others only care for their own agenda rather than for the disenfranchised that suffered before Katrina. He got rich off the masses of Black people but he wasn't able to use any of that money to charter buses or at least buy groceries to make some sandwiches. But all these "supporters" of the black community would rather get all their rich friends together to tell my broke ass and my college student broke ass girlfriend to give what we can. Motherfuckers, did Diddy and Jay-Z give all they could? A million dollars between the two of them? That’s sick.When they own boats that they can land their helicopters on. And Bush hates Black people? All our leaders are useless so there is no wonder we only can look forward to being rappers and basketball players. Unless you are too short and can't rap, like me. Shit.

It's on

I have officially been invited to the first annual King Of Hands Tournament. Not a hard feat seeing as I am the reigning champ but years of not training and working at a desk and eating all the wrong foods have eroded my abilities to the point that those who once crowned me the King Of Hands no longer recognize me. But that's cool. Everyone has continued and surpassed the level I once held. I almost feel kind of like Yamcha, which would be depressing if I still didn't believe in him. Super Sayans, hmp. Consider this my RSVP, Southtown. http://kingofhands.blogspot.com/.

Sleepy days

It's been a rather slow day at work with just a few calls trickling in. Maybe because I haven't been paying any attention to the incoming faxes or the in-system items but I'm on official orders not to do any work so that the people coming in tomorrow will have something to do. Well whatever. I found out that in addition to the polo shirts we will be receiving with the new company's logo on it, we will also be given a denim long sleeve. Yes! It's going to be awesome when everyone wears them at the same time for "special" occasions. That makes the news that the new hires will be getting a $1.25 raise as opposed to the veteran staff's $0.75 even better.

Building nothing, laying bricks

I've been trying to get back into drawing with actual 2d media. But as the title of this post eludes to, it has not been as favorable a return as I would have liked. Not that the quality is of any question, just the actual time being put into it. And for so little result. The first one I'm working on is coming along but at a snails pace. It is a lot larger than the first set I did a few years ago and those took me weeks sometimes months to finish. And that was with a part time job and no girlfriend. Spending all day behind a desk tends to keep me from being too busy with actual interest. But that's Ok seeing as the task she has taken on is a lot larger than the one i've set for myself. I have also divided myself between other projects in different mediums which divert a good portion of my attention. That and trying to win an X-Box 360 with that Mountian Dew promotion, courtesy of my co-workers bottle caps. I'm a winner, maybe...