Sometimes, when i'm alone, I like to sit on my hand and wait for it to go numb...
I've been home sick the last three days. My girlfriend isn't home, always busy with work or school, God bless her. So I've been alone. And when left to my own devices I tend to make pictures like this. Don't ask why.
Jerk
I tend to be a bit of an asshole when it comes to other peoples work. It may be because I’ve spent the majority of my life around other artist, but when I see work that to me feels like the artist didn't put any work into at all, I know I end up sounding like an asshole. I know I'm hyper critical of art, and this is even more true of my own art, but there are times when I have to compare my work with other's and I don't see any comparison. But then there are those that make you step back and re-evaluate that assessment. Such as http://www.dacafe.org/. When I stumbled across this site I was amazed at his technical ability and the quality of his work. Non-artist always speak of this THING that artist have, that makes them able to recreate life in a drawing or photograph or with a block of clay. He is someone who I would say has it. I've been to his site several times to look at the same pictures I looked at last time. Unfortunately I haven't translated the site so I don't know what he is talking about. But visually it's a good site and I enjoy looking at his work. Photography is something I would like to do more of. Here's a couple I've done that I think are simple but effective. Let me know what you think. 
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Semper Fi, or something like that
The subsidiary that I work for has merged with it's parent company, and to celebrate the joyous union of father and son ( think if Luke had taken up Vader's offer) they distributed these ultra sleek pens with the new name. Of course it was futile to think maybe we would receive a raise , which is of course an impossibilty when the whole purpose of your company was to cut cost. Either way it's better than being known as "Servco" which was the working title when this litte merger first surfaced. I still think even Nate's name "Mega Serve" would have been better than that. It has a Wal-Mart sound to it, like it houses all the services under the sun, from the "You Got Served" isle to the "Adult Services" section, yes we'd have it all. Well, maybe not. But the pen was a great touch. It makes us all feel like valued employees of the evil Sith Empire, the type that get choked to death before the end of the movie.
I’m sitting in my car, starring at the moon through the sunroof. Dragon-tailed clouds wisp around it, passing it between them like a translucent ball. Their playful rolling makes me smile until they disperse as a plane passes through them. Because of it’s angle in the sky and the thick contrails it looks like a spaceship blasting off. I wish that it was and that I were aboard. I would play with the dragon-tails and circle the moon in its orbit upside down while counting the craters. And I would only come back to visit.
soap
It creeps, clothed in familiararity. It comes to rattle me and derail me from the path I chose many years ago. I've always told those around me that as long as someone has something to hold over your head, they will. Dangle it, just inches from you. To make you doubt yourself. Try to convince you that you really aren't as cool as you think you are, not as smart. Not as good looking or as well off. But that's fine. Tyler, I want you to really listen to me. My eyes are open.
Watermarks are gay
I hate how these websites that some how come across pictures that you've been searching for feel the need to leave their gay-ass watermarks on the pictures like they are the ones that created the images. I'd be pretty pissed off if I stumbled across one of my pictures with one of these watermarks pasted all over it like I'm the lucky one to find it on their website. If you like the picture, that's fine if you feel like you need to copy it into your files so you can look at it whenever, but when you start labeling it with your shitty website, that's when there's a problem.
3 Years...
So I received my 3 year bar for work. I feel so special. I mean, I've worked so hard at just showing up late and getting yelled at by GM commercial dealers for issues that aren't really my fault. (In case any are reading; your mom). Don't get me wrong, it's an ok job for someone who really has no other ambitions. It just sucks to have to deal with it when in the back of my mind everyday i'm thinking about what else I could be doing with my life. Everyone else around me either has plans to leave for better jobs or are in school so that they can get better jobs but not me. I know, I know, so do something about it already. I'm just letting it all out. Besides, I don't believe anybody will actually come to this stupid blog, so this is really just for me. Thanks to anyone who really gives a shit. What this all comes down to is the fact that i'm having a midlife crisis at the age of 27 and what's worse is that it's at least my second one. I know what I should be doing with my life but whenever a chance shows itself I have to go and chicken out. And I know better. I know what I have been given and that to not share it is selfish on my part. But that is where the doubt begins to set in. Maybe everything i've worked so hard for really isn't all that great and no one will really care. And usually I don't care. Usually i'm pretty confident with what I do because nobody can do it better. There are many who would like to make me feel like there others who can but the reality of it is that they are wrong. It still creeps in and eats me up though, but I know better. Kogarasu-Maru, litte crow.
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