King of Hands Cancelled?

I've received word that the King of Hands tournament is going to be cancelled. Oh well. So much for my harcore workout regime of donuts and soda pop. And I was starting to feel my ki growing in my toes again. To bad I can't touch them.

Getting smooshed is not on the cool list

So I played Shadow of the Colossus last night. It was awesome. I don't particularly care for the teleportation back to the temple after slaying a colossus, but other than that it's great. I'm not sure about the replayabilty but it is definitely a must play. It has the same air of wonder and excitement as Ico, obviously. But there is a story developing that I have my suspicions about and I can't wait to see how right I am.

Oh yeah, here are some pictures I took Saturday of the job Brian and I did on Nate's desk.
It was more Brian but I contributed with the picture and the "it looks like someone has a case of the Mondays". I also told Brian to tape his notary stamp so that when he tried to use it, it wouldn't work. Take that Tonto!

Holidays on weekends suck

Having to come back to work right after Christmas blows. Especially when you have cool presents. But at least we are slow. Sooooo slow. I've been looking non-stop at the website for Shadow of the Colossus. Sarah bought it for me for Christmas and I can't wait to crack it open and feast upon the gooey insides. You have to check this game out, at least to revel in the art direction. It's by the same people who did Ico. If you never played that game then you suck and I'm glad you missed a modern day masterpiece. I have to go home and play it. I really can't sit still in my chair. I have to play it! My parent also bought me X-Men Legends 2. It looks awsome and it's multi-player, which is totally sweet. I still wish I could get my hands on the arcade version of X-Men. All in all it was a good haul and from what I could tell everyone was pleased with their gifts. Saturday sucked because we were dead then too, so I decided to take some pictures of my work space so Sarah could see the suck that my life is.

This is my space. Until a few weeks ago, the only things on my walls were work releated. Nothing to tell who sat in my seat, no personal effects.

Here is a lovley shot of my notary stamp. Beautiful.

Snores-ville and a guilty sensation

It is Christmas eve and I'm at work. I am soooo bored. But I volunteered and it's all overtime. Chi-ching. But I am very bored. And no sooner do I write that, something slides over on the fax machine. Me and my big, letter writing pen. It's probably a Mexico insurance policy. How much do you want to bet? Oh that's right, it's Christmas eve and everyone is broke. But why is it when you go shopping for everyone else, you see a bunch of shit you want to buy yourself. But then you don't want to be a jerk and spend all your money on yourself. Besides, that's what all the after Christmas sales are about. You went shopping, saw piles of stuff you want and can't have but now since it's after Christmas you can forget all the bullshit presents you bought everyone else and really get down to purchasing. All for Silas, all for Silas. What? Stop looking like that. I'm not the only one. Am I? Nah.

No more ranting

It has come to my attention that all I do anymore is rant, sometimes violently. I am a bit sick of it myself, so henceforth I will refrain from. I'll just have to squeeze it into a tiny, bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate moment, like the time I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle. Remember that? When I hit the referee with the bottle? So no more of it. Oh, and sorry for saying fuck so much.

Who gives a flying fuck?

This is all I'm going to write about the dumbass argument about evolution versus intelligent design. No one can prove where we all came from. At this point everything is a theory. You can't prove anything, either way. So everybody shut the fuck up and go back to your jobs, assuming you have one between your fucking crusades. Damn hippies.

And?

So now Saddam Hussein says the US beat him. And this of course is going to get him some kind of sympathy. Because we were so cruel to him, we overthrew his regime and hunted him down, and killed his sons, and now we've beat him. And? I saw a video where he watched one of his soldiers chop the hand off a prisoner. I wish I knew what that guy did to warrant that. And he's complaining that we beat him? Compared to the shit he did to people who said something about him he didn't like. I think they should publicly beat him. They should beat him on TV. They should show it in classrooms. Set TV's up in peoples houses who can't afford them so they can watch them beat his monkey ass. They need to fuck him up.

I didn't win a damn thing

Saturday night was the first of four company Christmas party's I attended. And I only went in the hopes that I would win something. In case you are wondering if I did, damnit, read the fucking title of this post. If you want details about the night then read Nate's blog. It was a waste of time for me, even though the cake was scrumptulescent.

City overrun by wild feral cats

Ok, so the top story on the front page of today's newspaper is "Kitty Clutter". It was about how the city is being overrun by wild, feral cats. They're cats... They aren't going to eat anyone's dog or beat you up and take your wallet. Just throw your shoe at them and run the other way. I like cats. See it here: http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/13402739.htm

Congratulations!

My younger sister graduated from Wichita State yesterday. Awesome. From what I can tell, the ceremony may have been good, but I'm not sure from the nosebleed section. But either way, I'm proud of her. She had the stomach I didn't and went all the way. That and she's going back for more. Between her and my older sister, they'll have more degrees than I can shake a stick at. See, she's the one in the black. Look at all those cords and medals. Obviously she is super-educated, smarter than Spock.And the proud relatives. Cousin Alex on the left and aunt Diane on the right. And in the far right background is the older sister Emily. Cool out back there money, you already had your day! She's super-educated too.
See, here she is in May getting her second degree. Word.

I love finding these

Ok, everyone needs to go here; WhiteKnight . I love finding these. Whenever I leave the house feeling like everything is ok in the world, I remember that there are people like this.

I should draw more

There was a time when I would draw everyday. Well into the night, blasting my music quietly in my headphones. Dirty hands, head lightened by the thick smell of marker. Riddled with teenage angst and a broken heart I would draw late hours in pen and ink, broken cites and anti-heroes. What fun... So why waste my days in a call center, inspecting Mexico insurance policies? Your guess is as good as mine. I could progress a lot farther if I tried. Here's the difference of four years in high school.

If the cold were a man, I would kill him.

And I mean good too. I'd get my hands on him. Real personal-like. Wrap my hands around his throat. And I don't mean choke. Throttle. Look him right in the eyes. Throttle. Watch his tongue slide out and see the panic in his eyes. You know the kind. Like when you're underwater and you feel like you can't get to the surface fast enough. Feel his strength fade. I hate the cold. Give another good squeeze before I let go. The cold is a real jerk.

Whiskey in the Jar

Actually it's sake. And damn tasty too. I just bought a Kodak Easy Share camera off of Nate. It's not too fancy but it takes pictures. Which is all I need right now. Just something to scratch the itch until after Christmas when I can afford to get something a little more capable. So expect a bunch of artsy, out of focus pictures to be posted at random the next few weeks... like this one I took of my breakfast yesterday. Coffee and a cereal bar. Mmm, now that's good eating!

Where's the Beef?

Ok, maybe I'm a day late in writing about this but hey, sue me. It was the last day of the month and I had to go renew my tags. So, on TV yesterday, our great leader gave a speech that would outline a plan to win the war in Iraq. Of course it came as no surprise that there was no plan. He got up there and blah blah blah-ed the whole time. Now I understand that he can't just come out and say " We are going to use a classic pincer move and swing in from the North and West and corner them in Ramadi and drop the hammer on them", but come on. Can you be a little more specific? Oh well. It's nothing new. Just that old familiar feeling of being left with more questions than answers. But how about that car chase in California? That shit was crazy. Did you see the dumbass that jumped out the car? Ouch! Remind me next time I'm ready to buy a new car to get a Toyota Carolla. That car took a beating and kept on going. Shazam!

I'm saving the last bullet for myself

Ok, so I'm at work but that's all I'm doing. Being here. All the printers in the site are down, Lotus notes is behaving erratically and our Oregon office has closed early. I'm so close to taking that standard issue cyanide capsule. Then everything will be ok. Everything will be ok. All the printers work in heaven...

And then I'm going to blast my glutes

Ok, so I know there are nights where there is absolutely nothing happening. Those nights make for slow news reports. But why in holy hell was there a story about the workout routines of the women of desperate Housewives? On the local news? Celebrities have penetrated every part of our normal everyday lives. Now when I want to see what's happening in the world I get to see how many millions John Travolta gives his daughter on her birthdays. Millions... Gives... Why are we bombarded with this shit? I hate 'em, I hate 'em all. And no, it's not because they're rich and I'm not, oh wait yeah it is. Rich motherfuckers.

Who writes this stuff?

Man, I have a lot of ranting post lately. And most of them are about topics I really don't like talking about. Maybe that's why I tend to write so much about them. Either way, I'm going to shift the focus back to what I had originally intended. Boobies. Oh wait, that's my other website. If you see boobies here, it's because I'm being artsy or something. But back to the reason I started this all. I like to draw, which is obvious here:

Why can't I stop ranting...

Rep. Duncan Hunter of California says, "Right now, in Iraq, we are changing the world. ... We're changing a very strategic part of the world in such a way that it will not be a threat to the United States and, in fact, will be an ally in the global war against terror." Now correct me if I'm wrong, but the country we are "changing" doesn't belong to us. There has not been any proof that the war in Iraq has been justified and to go in and change a country that doesn't belong to you sounds a bit Manifest Destiny to me. Who are these "lawmakers" trying to convince that we did the right thing in Iraq? I'm just tired of the bullshit. Maybe if the Bush administration had just come clean and said "Hey, I need to go to Iraq to kick Saddam's ass", I don't think that half of America would have opposed that war. Shit, sometimes you just need to kick that muthafucka's ass. Why is it such a noble cause to have the youth of America, many who were mislead into "get money for college", shipped overseas to be blown up by savages. And when I say "savages", I in no way, shape or form am referring to those of the Islamic faith. I mean the people who follow the perversion of it and all fundamentalist who believe them to be the mouth of the Great Silent One. These kids are fighting fanatics in a way the asshole lawmakers can't even imagine. Except maybe those that saw some kind of action in 'Nam. This world does not belong to America and the reason everyone else in the world hates America is because of that. Don't come onto my soil, claiming you know what's best for me. We as Americans know how we would act if we were occupied. Shit we don't even want our neighbors on our lawn. And as American's I don't understand how we can let these fuckers use these scare tactics to keep us afraid of other countries and cultures. To convince us that our way of life is the only one to live. It's that same as the terrorist claiming jihad against the infidels, condemning all those who do not walk the extreme Muslim life. But nowhere near as worse because they only use force to push their ideals. We have been subtlety brainwashed to believe in our pampered, spoiled lifestyles, that our government is watching our backs and keeping us safe. If so then why are they fabricating stories about a big bad dictator who's coming to get us?

That shit is gross

Nate said he was going to talk about this on his blog : http://www.brownpolyestershirt.blogspot.com/, but he hasn't updated it in months, slacker. But as was discussed a couple of days ago, we both noticed an oddity in the trash bin outside the building. It's the kind that has the flaps so the trash inside doesn't escape, not unlike the one at your local Mickey Dee's. Well I noticed it first on Saturday when I went to deposit the remains of my lunch. As I approached it I noticed what looked like hair. Human hair. Being curious I decided to take a closer look instead of just tossing my trash. It was a slow day and perhaps I needed a little excitement. So as I used my Wendy's sack to hold open the door, I peeked in expecting to see a severed head or something. Only it was worse. It was someone’s weave. And that shit was gross. Sure enough, Nate comes in Monday and as he begins I already know what he's talking about. A real head, flies and all, wouldn't have been as gross. Unless the eyes were open, maybe. Blugh.

I'd like to thank God for all my ills

Why is it that when I was flipping the channels last night I came across T.I. winning an award on the Vibe awards. Why is it that he was able to win anything? But judging from the others in the category I'm not all that surprised. But of course he begins with "I'd like to thank God". When did it become appropriate "? But it's got a good beat, right? I just do not understand the direction rap has taken and why they feel like they need to brag about destroying other people. "I'd like to thank God for destroying the community with the drugs I used to sell and for that time I robbed a mother of her child because that muthafucka was talkn' shit at the club. Then there was those bitches I degraded by skeeting on their faces and then dumping out of my Escalade, stupid bitches." It sounds more like something you would tell a priest because you are seeking forgiveness. Of course the majority of them really don't need confession because they fake jacks and all, but still. What happened to making good music that wasn't about fucking each other up. Why is it so hard to make something that is genuinely happy? "Because life in the ghetto isn't happy." Give it a fucking rest. Life is shit and we are all covered in it. But it's the times when we forget that are the moments when we really live. And those times don't cost any money and not limited to any one group of people. To The Windows, To The Wall! And if you really live your life then I think that is something God will thank you for.

Elvis is King(?)

People's collective memory really is short. Once again on my journey across the internet I stumbled across another topic that gets my goat. Just by reading this, one would probably tend to get the impression that I'm really this hyper, pro-ethnicity back to the motherland kind of God is black people. I'm really not though. What I am though is irritated with society's need to forget that black people are a large part of this country's history. I was reading http://www.catandgirl.com/ and I found it funny that the Cat had no idea that Blondie's "Rapture" song was the first to include rapping and that Marty McFly created Rock 'N Roll. I have this ongoing debate with Sarah that Black people have spearheaded every large music movement in history short of bluegrass and Country. Maybe some others too but, for the most part each movement can more or less be tracked back to us. And no one remembers. Hearing that reminds me of an instance when a friend's girlfriend asked why my cousin and another friend were making fun of her people when they were mock breakdancing. She was Asian. Here, let me say that again. The Asian girl asked why a couple of Black guys (well Durand is Puerto Rican, which we give him shit for all the time; Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico) were making fun of Asians because they "created" breakdancing. She was born after 1980 so it's a little understandable that she would not know where it's roots, but come on. Turbo and Ozone are turning over in their graves(are they still alive?). Now it's all Asian boys doing windmills and white boys rocking out on guitars and that's fine. I like the idea of everyone getting involved and showing a different take. It's cool to listen to the music in Cowboy BeBop to hear the Japanese take on jazz and blues. What irritates me more than anything else are the people that created these cultural phenomenons. It really upsets me that we are such a throw away people. What about all the barriers we broke? What about the Harlem renaissance? Why did we spend years building ourselves up only to let ourselves go. Isn't there anything left in us other than rap. What happened to being able to play an instrument or caring a tune? Why is there only 50 cent and R Kelly? I want some answers! Nicole Simpson can't rap, this whole court is out of order! But you know it's not even that rap isn't a valid movement. But when people who can't still are able to make it and influence the genre, wtf? I remember when real MC's would get on the mic and shut down the lame-o's. But nobody buys their albums because their rims aren't spinin' and all their hoe's are in the same area code.Shazam and abracdabra, change this wacky world back the way I remember.

Rant

Is it a bad thing at work that instead of actual calendars, they hand out to everyone 12 photocopied pages of a calendar? It's really too bad that there is no way to convince me that my job is not going to end up in India at some point. There are already collection offices there. I remember getting a call; when I still took customer calls; from someone who was upset because they couldn't understand the person who called about their past due payment. They told the customer where they were calling from and that upset them. Me too. I know how business works and all but I mean come on. I was watching Best of the Best (don't laugh, I like that movie) and there were scenes of cars being built in Detroit. Good ole' motorcity. I heard a rumor not too long go that GM was moving production to China because it was cheaper than building cars in Mexico. For fuck's sake man. What about our crumbling economy. What about American jobs. The trade gap is bigger than it's been in how long and these big companies still want to outsource more jobs. Instead of following the hot spots of development that equal quick gains, how about building a strong stable economy at home. If they spent more time building quality items then maybe people overseas would want to trade again. As is, nobody wants the crap we actually do produce. And neither do Americans. Granted I do drive a Mitsubishi but damnit, it's fast. I can't help that.

Snowfall

I talked to my cousin last night. He's going through a rough patch, coming off a breakup. Sarah said something last night that I hadn't thought about in a while, for obvious reasons. She asked if I remembered what it was like to be heartbroken. It's been what seems like a lifetime ago but yeah, I do. We all have that one person, that person who you would no matter what was happening in your life drop everything for. You know who they are. Like I said, a lifetime ago but I still catch glimpses of that life every now and then. "Still she haunts me, phantomwise; Alice moving under skies; never seen by waking eyes." -Louis Carroll.

Reconstruction

Here is the first sketch for my next five drawings. They are very rough so don't judge them too harshly. Everyone around me at work thinks I'm crazy because I tend to talk to myself while drawing and writing, which I do on the back of the sketches. Weird, random things. Scary things. Things that will haunt your nightmares. Or maybe not.
I probably won't post the next one until I finish this drawing, but who knows. Maybe I will. I'm such a tease.

Saturdays of Thunder

Working Saturdays blows. I got to work about ten minutes late because my sheets at home had a bear hug of a hold on me. Then the shower had to get all cozy with me. Then I had to leave my girlfriend in the middle of a conversation just to get here and find out half our programs aren't working due to a system upgrade. And you know what that means. Half those programs that aren't working now will never work quite the same again due to the "upgrade". Bah!

Even after all these years I still don't know what "Gleaming The Cube" has to do with skateboarding

I mean the movie never explained it. How does one know when they have "Gleamed The Cube?" I'm not sure but I don't think I ever have.

Teenage Suicide! Don't Do It!

I'm kinda glad I'm not an angst-ridden teenager any more. Everybody should check out http://insomniarocks.blogspot.com/. I had clicked one of my interests listed to see who else had the same interest and it turns out that he had left a comment on the person's blog I went to. There wasn't anything of any importance at first glance until I noticed "nigger cunt". So of course I had to go to his blog. Fucking hell. No matter what happens in the future there will always be these people. You know, teenagers. "I spend too much time alone listening to music and drawing with the curtains closed and my door locked so my parents can't come in. I don't believe in God because my parents made me go to church and never let me find things out on my own. And He never answers my prayers because I'm still a gawky kid who can't get girls to go out with me and the other kids at school laugh at me and call me names. " Fucking grow up. You hate women because they are smarter than you; you hate other races because you don't know any. Get some nuts and confront the shit that scares you. Quit letting everyone know how old you are not.

Do they know it's Wonderland?

I like to go to the "submit your ad" page on the http://www.dacafe.org/photograph/ site and check out all the Japanese photographers. I was checking out http://clover.petit.cc/ when I came across a picture under daily life. It was a picture of a stamp of all things and it was of a Gundam. On a stamp. Granted, I've never really been into Gundam but I still acknowledge the coolness (or dork-dom) of them. I mean who doesn't want a giant mech suit that can kick all other mech suits' collective asses all at the same time. Which leads me to ask- do the Japanese understand that they live in Cool world. I mean besides the sometimes corny acting and a few terrible J-Pop bands. I wonder if they wake up and are just like "Ok, it's time to get into my incredibly fast Honda Civic and drift down winding streets with blooming Sakura trees all the way to school so that I can get into a huge brawl with the "toughs" with their uniforms all open and yelling the name of special techniques with the school girls with the leg warmers cheering in the background and topping the night off with the girl of my dreams dumping me and me saying "Orro" with swirls for eyes?" Maybe that's the skewed view that most Americans who like that shit have but I just wonder how they deal with being bombarded with all of it. I know how I feel about being bombarded with the one thing Americans never seem to get enough of- Celebrities! And for me it sure ain't no Wonderland. More like D'Oh-erland. Wait did that make any sense. Ah, who the hell cares anyways?

Pickles make me angry

Have you ever had an emotional response to eating? You know like in the movies where the guy gives the woman a spoonful of some delicious ice cream or pastry and she closes her eyes and makes that mmm sound. Well, whenever I eat pickles it's like that but instead of making that mmm sound I tend to make a sound more like the Hulk picking up a really heavy truck and throwing it. Pickles piss me off. It's not even anything I can help. Just the taste of them is enough to make me bang my fist on the table.

I must suck or something

Isn't it weird when people who don't even know you can already guess when you are bad at something? Like in gym class, when a group of guys didn't think I could climb the rope. I’m short so automatically that makes me some kind of pussy. So I proceeded to climb it without the use of my legs. Just my arms, which was something they could not do. Pussies. Which brings me to my second example. I emailed a local gallery just to see what exactly they would need to see in order to be considered for a show. Well that was about two weeks ago at least and still no reply. Therefore I can conclude only one thing. They must have a psychic on board and they have already deemed my work as crap and discarded any knowledge of my email.

Thank God for nerds

I mean look at them. These are the two men that created some of the movies that I spent my formative years watching. Constantly. I can only make one excuse for myself. Look at them.

Gas prices revisted

When I last filled up last week, gas was $3.01. Now they are $2.63. That hurts. My car is kinda slick huh? Too bad it won't be doing much more than this.

I Know Black People

In a nutshell, I think the race issue is rather absurd. But what I find more absurd are people's ideas of what Black people are. The funniest and the most disturbing things I hear always come from people who are not Black. But, because they "grew up with Black people" or "all their friends are Black" they some how understand what it means to be Black. This is even more apparent with the younger MTV generation who equates material possessions as status and culture. To begin, and what actually started me writing about this was an article on MSN that was about the "Mega-Church". And at first there was absolutely nothing about race in this segment. Usually I don't defend the state of rap at this moment, but then after reading a seemingly harmless line about how converting the traditional style of churches to be more modern was like converting Shakespeare into Hip-hop, I felt compelled. Now I understand that there is probably no ill intent meant by that statement, but I have to argue that it reeks of ignorance. Because if they actually read Shakespeare and listened to some rap lyrics, they would hear the same tragedies, the same laments and fateful happenings. I maybe stretching all this a bit thin but I'm sure you see what I mean. Plus I just watched Titus the other night so I know all about Shakespeare. But now for the meat. A while back at work I was asked by a co-worker what the smelly stuff that men put on their faces before they shave. Being a Gillette man I was confused because I never took the time to smell my shaving cream but figured there was no adverse odors. Being frustrated with my and my other co-workers answers, she turned away saying "well you're not really black anyway". Screech! Now because I don't know what Magic Shave is that makes me not black? Obviously she had another reason for saying that. Which would include the way I dress, talk and treat others with some form of respect. So I enlightened her that I don't wear baggie clothes because I like to run and jump and fall down and an oversized jersey and sagging pants would only get in the way. That and I don't feel the need to prove how "black" I am by wearing all the same clothes, listening to the same music and front like I'm some kind of gangster when I live in Wichita, Kansas. I am not a Clone, I have never been nor will I ever be. I let her know how my entire family is proud of their culture and what she knows from dating all her black boyfriends is not what black culture is, what she sees on TV. In the book "Invisible man" by Ralph Ellison, he writes
"A conscience of a race is the gift of its individuals who see, evaluate, record... We create the race by creating ourselves and then to our great astonishment we will have created something far more important. We will have created a culture (Ellison, pg 354)."
That is exactly how I feel about my culture, which would be impossible for any one to fathom who didn't grow up in it. But what really upsets me are the youth that will never know who Ralph Ellison is or Jacob Lawrence or even someone who I really don't know too much about but still respect greatly, Edmonia Lewis. She was a sculptor who crafted "The Death Of Cleopatra" in 1876. Amazing for a black woman at that time in history with the quality of any of the masters. All that goes along with something a co-worker of Sarah's said of Lenny Kravitz. She said he was not black because he wasn't "ghetto" like he was supposed to be. Of course my smart ass had to chime in that he was drafted by the Jews, courtesy of Chapplle Show, episode one, season two. But seriously, not ghetto like he's supposed to be? What the fuck does that mean. That all Black people are supposed to be this dumbass jungle bunny, "I don't know, boss" cartoon versions of Nelly singing it's gettin' hot in hur. That shit pisses me of the point that I need to spit. Lenny Kravitz represents what I feel black people used to be in days of yore. Originality. Despite what lines people want to draw to Hendrix, he is doing something that no one else is. And he is exhibiting a talent that I have to say overshadows those of any rappers, because to play an instrument is beautiful (another reason I'm not Black is because I think it is and am willing to use the word beautiful instead of tizzight, fo shizzle my nizzzle). And as Sarah brought up, what about Hendrix, Billie Holliday, and Ella Fitzgerald. Were they "ghetto"? What about Duke Ellington or Dizzie Gillespie? If what it takes to be Black is a lack of education and a loud speaker system in your burnt out hoopty with 20 inch spinning rims, then count me out. The guys on http://www.wiggaz.com/ probably have a better idea about what it takes to be Black than me. It's a sad day when our Malcolm X's and Martin Luther King Jr's are replaced by Jay-Z and P Diddy, or just Diddy or Sean "Puffy" Combs or whatever the fuck his name is this week. I really don't know when rappers replaced real men of stature but it's pretty disappointing when the spokespeople for us are rappers. Probably because the Jesse Jacksons and Al Sharptons are too busy blaming the federal government for their slow response, all the while jumping in front of the camera to show how much they care. Some old woman shot Jesse Jackson down from his high horse for not bringing any form of relief when he went to visit New Orleans to complain about the feds. Proving the fact that he and others only care for their own agenda rather than for the disenfranchised that suffered before Katrina. He got rich off the masses of Black people but he wasn't able to use any of that money to charter buses or at least buy groceries to make some sandwiches. But all these "supporters" of the black community would rather get all their rich friends together to tell my broke ass and my college student broke ass girlfriend to give what we can. Motherfuckers, did Diddy and Jay-Z give all they could? A million dollars between the two of them? That’s sick.When they own boats that they can land their helicopters on. And Bush hates Black people? All our leaders are useless so there is no wonder we only can look forward to being rappers and basketball players. Unless you are too short and can't rap, like me. Shit.

It's on

I have officially been invited to the first annual King Of Hands Tournament. Not a hard feat seeing as I am the reigning champ but years of not training and working at a desk and eating all the wrong foods have eroded my abilities to the point that those who once crowned me the King Of Hands no longer recognize me. But that's cool. Everyone has continued and surpassed the level I once held. I almost feel kind of like Yamcha, which would be depressing if I still didn't believe in him. Super Sayans, hmp. Consider this my RSVP, Southtown. http://kingofhands.blogspot.com/.

Sleepy days

It's been a rather slow day at work with just a few calls trickling in. Maybe because I haven't been paying any attention to the incoming faxes or the in-system items but I'm on official orders not to do any work so that the people coming in tomorrow will have something to do. Well whatever. I found out that in addition to the polo shirts we will be receiving with the new company's logo on it, we will also be given a denim long sleeve. Yes! It's going to be awesome when everyone wears them at the same time for "special" occasions. That makes the news that the new hires will be getting a $1.25 raise as opposed to the veteran staff's $0.75 even better.

Building nothing, laying bricks

I've been trying to get back into drawing with actual 2d media. But as the title of this post eludes to, it has not been as favorable a return as I would have liked. Not that the quality is of any question, just the actual time being put into it. And for so little result. The first one I'm working on is coming along but at a snails pace. It is a lot larger than the first set I did a few years ago and those took me weeks sometimes months to finish. And that was with a part time job and no girlfriend. Spending all day behind a desk tends to keep me from being too busy with actual interest. But that's Ok seeing as the task she has taken on is a lot larger than the one i've set for myself. I have also divided myself between other projects in different mediums which divert a good portion of my attention. That and trying to win an X-Box 360 with that Mountian Dew promotion, courtesy of my co-workers bottle caps. I'm a winner, maybe...

Sometimes, when i'm alone, I like to sit on my hand and wait for it to go numb...

I've been home sick the last three days. My girlfriend isn't home, always busy with work or school, God bless her. So I've been alone. And when left to my own devices I tend to make pictures like this. Don't ask why.

Jerk

I tend to be a bit of an asshole when it comes to other peoples work. It may be because I’ve spent the majority of my life around other artist, but when I see work that to me feels like the artist didn't put any work into at all, I know I end up sounding like an asshole. I know I'm hyper critical of art, and this is even more true of my own art, but there are times when I have to compare my work with other's and I don't see any comparison. But then there are those that make you step back and re-evaluate that assessment. Such as http://www.dacafe.org/. When I stumbled across this site I was amazed at his technical ability and the quality of his work. Non-artist always speak of this THING that artist have, that makes them able to recreate life in a drawing or photograph or with a block of clay. He is someone who I would say has it. I've been to his site several times to look at the same pictures I looked at last time. Unfortunately I haven't translated the site so I don't know what he is talking about. But visually it's a good site and I enjoy looking at his work. Photography is something I would like to do more of. Here's a couple I've done that I think are simple but effective. Let me know what you think.

Semper Fi, or something like that

The subsidiary that I work for has merged with it's parent company, and to celebrate the joyous union of father and son ( think if Luke had taken up Vader's offer) they distributed these ultra sleek pens with the new name. Of course it was futile to think maybe we would receive a raise , which is of course an impossibilty when the whole purpose of your company was to cut cost. Either way it's better than being known as "Servco" which was the working title when this litte merger first surfaced. I still think even Nate's name "Mega Serve" would have been better than that. It has a Wal-Mart sound to it, like it houses all the services under the sun, from the "You Got Served" isle to the "Adult Services" section, yes we'd have it all. Well, maybe not. But the pen was a great touch. It makes us all feel like valued employees of the evil Sith Empire, the type that get choked to death before the end of the movie.

I’m sitting in my car, starring at the moon through the sunroof. Dragon-tailed clouds wisp around it, passing it between them like a translucent ball. Their playful rolling makes me smile until they disperse as a plane passes through them. Because of it’s angle in the sky and the thick contrails it looks like a spaceship blasting off. I wish that it was and that I were aboard. I would play with the dragon-tails and circle the moon in its orbit upside down while counting the craters. And I would only come back to visit.

soap

It creeps, clothed in familiararity. It comes to rattle me and derail me from the path I chose many years ago. I've always told those around me that as long as someone has something to hold over your head, they will. Dangle it, just inches from you. To make you doubt yourself. Try to convince you that you really aren't as cool as you think you are, not as smart. Not as good looking or as well off. But that's fine. Tyler, I want you to really listen to me. My eyes are open.

Watermarks are gay

I hate how these websites that some how come across pictures that you've been searching for feel the need to leave their gay-ass watermarks on the pictures like they are the ones that created the images. I'd be pretty pissed off if I stumbled across one of my pictures with one of these watermarks pasted all over it like I'm the lucky one to find it on their website. If you like the picture, that's fine if you feel like you need to copy it into your files so you can look at it whenever, but when you start labeling it with your shitty website, that's when there's a problem.

3 Years...

So I received my 3 year bar for work. I feel so special. I mean, I've worked so hard at just showing up late and getting yelled at by GM commercial dealers for issues that aren't really my fault. (In case any are reading; your mom). Don't get me wrong, it's an ok job for someone who really has no other ambitions. It just sucks to have to deal with it when in the back of my mind everyday i'm thinking about what else I could be doing with my life. Everyone else around me either has plans to leave for better jobs or are in school so that they can get better jobs but not me. I know, I know, so do something about it already. I'm just letting it all out. Besides, I don't believe anybody will actually come to this stupid blog, so this is really just for me. Thanks to anyone who really gives a shit. What this all comes down to is the fact that i'm having a midlife crisis at the age of 27 and what's worse is that it's at least my second one. I know what I should be doing with my life but whenever a chance shows itself I have to go and chicken out. And I know better. I know what I have been given and that to not share it is selfish on my part. But that is where the doubt begins to set in. Maybe everything i've worked so hard for really isn't all that great and no one will really care. And usually I don't care. Usually i'm pretty confident with what I do because nobody can do it better. There are many who would like to make me feel like there others who can but the reality of it is that they are wrong. It still creeps in and eats me up though, but I know better. Kogarasu-Maru, litte crow.

Is this how you feel about gas prices? If you don't then you either make too much money or you are the one hiking up the prices... Bastard.

Not really leaving...

I guess that title is a little misleading. I really don't have any plans of leaving in the near future. Though others would recommend it.

Now Leaving Wichita