So I received my 3 year bar for work. I feel so special. I mean, I've worked so hard at just showing up late and getting yelled at by GM commercial dealers for issues that aren't really my fault. (In case any are reading; your mom). Don't get me wrong, it's an ok job for someone who really has no other ambitions. It just sucks to have to deal with it when in the back of my mind everyday i'm thinking about what else I could be doing with my life. Everyone else around me either has plans to leave for better jobs or are in school so that they can get better jobs but not me. I know, I know, so do something about it already. I'm just letting it all out. Besides, I don't believe anybody will actually come to this stupid blog, so this is really just for me. Thanks to anyone who really gives a shit. What this all comes down to is the fact that i'm having a midlife crisis at the age of 27 and what's worse is that it's at least my second one. I know what I should be doing with my life but whenever a chance shows itself I have to go and chicken out. And I know better. I know what I have been given and that to not share it is selfish on my part. But that is where the doubt begins to set in. Maybe everything i've worked so hard for really isn't all that great and no one will really care. And usually I don't care. Usually i'm pretty confident with what I do because nobody can do it better. There are many who would like to make me feel like there others who can but the reality of it is that they are wrong. It still creeps in and eats me up though, but I know better. Kogarasu-Maru, litte crow.
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